I like my own posts as an expression of self love. I mostly enjoy yelling into the void, and swords, and composting. We're bringing cloaks back into fashion.
Save the planet, and also people's rights and happiness.
Post-Mormon, UT native, ADHD.
| Pronouns | He/Him |
| Orientation | Straight |
| Location | Utah County, Utah, USA |
#Gender is a social construct, yes - but an amoral one. It's a social tool, and whether it is good or evil depends entirely on how its used.
I have no tolerance for it being used to make people's lives worse - but also, I see no reason why not to use it in positive ways.
Is this drive nature or nurture? No idea! But so long as it leads me to positive actions I'm good with it.
There are plenty of subversions in me as well - like homemaking. I like taking care of things I have, and that extends to my living space as much as my knife collection.
But ALL that being said - I will always love receiving a gift. Even if "gifts" is not one of their specific love languages, you'd be surprised how much any special show of affection can mean.
I'll always find something good to do with the gift. I'm very resourceful with my possessions, and I have a positive view on re-gifting: giving me the chance to give someone else a gift is a gift itself. I love finding a good home for a particular item, and I still get the warm feeling of know you care <3
Better: a hobby they're interested in but not deep into. I usually replace my first tools once I've learned from experience anyway, so give me that push to try it out. But... those can be even harder to figure out.
Best: a hobby that we both share, but you have equal or greater experience in. Give me a hard-to-discover tool that I probably haven't tried before, but you're a big fan of. The stars really have to align with this one though - not something you can research your way into.
Another example - always thrilled with new additions to my fairy garden, but I have a particular aesthetic I want to adhere to.
My good/better/best opinions:
Good: something you know they do regularly that's not necessarily a specialty or a passion, but that they like doing well. A "quality of life" gift. Good examples for me would be housekeeping and cooking - always happy to try new approaches.
Dilemma for #gifting (to men esp): "knowing their hobbies" seems like a great direction - but I'm actually very particular about the tools and materials I use in my hobbies. For example, I would LOVE a new sword - but only if it's full tang, well weighted, & carbon steel.
And I don't expect my non-hobbyist friends to understand the difference... but if it fails those criteria, I specifically do *not* want to own it.
(cont)
Reflecting on my experience in my early-mid 20s, I'm pretty sure I was way too formal about it (not to mention severely lacking in confidence).
I'm in a new phase of my life in many different ways, and I'm now a lot more confident in my attractiveness, but I still hate the idea of making a woman uncomfortable so I still feel a lot of reservation about even casually flirting or expressing interest. I want to seem as smooth and interesting as I feel... but also very clearly a "safe" guy.
Someone please tell me exactly how much expression of attraction to your crush is the best (on average).
My vague understanding is that too little, and they don't even realize you're into them. But laying it on too thick can make you seem uninteresting - and going even farther can become off putting or even frightening.
Any thoughts? I'm a man attracted to women, and would prefer to hear thoughts from women who are in the dating scene.