I’m with Jane 🐟

31 Followers
108 Following
311 Posts
Sitting in the drafts folder of life
β€œYou, boy, what social media website am I posting from?”
Sorry I was more than you
It made you feel so less.
I couldn't be more less for you
If I had tried my best.

Who else looking at craigslist RVs to buy and paint up like the Electric Mayhem bus and run away with my Imaginary Boyfriend?

YOU BETTER NOT BE.

Finger-licking good
Wrist-licking ok
Elbow-licking meh
Armpit-licking terrible
Nervously, I close the bag. β€œNo way,” I tell myself. β€œIt’s not like she’s gonna count the fries.” I start to sweat.
My dog has a painting in his dog house of me and my friends playing fetch. Bet he & his poker buddies get a kick out of that.
From my couch, I can see a cat next door.
I've been watching that cat for an hour and it has just been sitting there, doing nothing but stare out the window.
Stupid cat.

There are two types of cats: murder and doofus.

#caturday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #murdercat #humor #humour #funny

Terrible name, worse logo #threads
I'm launching a new social media app. It's called BIRB. This is the logo. It's the only app that demands you crochet, knit or embroider your posts.
Posts are called 'Yarns', editing a Yarn is called Darning, threads are called Tapestries, pile-ons are Shag Piles, blocking is called Black-Sheeping.
#BIRB