One of the things I often say when I help someone is, "pay it forward when you can."
And I want to just open that tin up a little, and have a peek inside, because I think it's more sneaky good than people think it is.
So, for those who haven't encountered it before, the idea is that if I help you, but there's nothing I need from you in return, then you feel a debt. Pay it forward says "Your debt is to our shared community." And it means you can pay off that debt whenever you have the means, *even if the original favour came from someone no longer around.*
In this way, this behaviour sneaks in community building in a long-term way. Because while I'm only one elder among a few here, doing my best to be a help to as many as need me, the odds that any of these people I'm helping will be in a position to help with something I need is rather slim. For one thing, the odds are good that my remaining best-before time is about 30 years. In the scheme of things, when many of my friends are in their 20s and 30s, this means I may well be gone when they are in a place to help the way I have. And I won't need the help anyway.
But if they all remember to pay it forward...then they in turn create a generation that owes them a debt of gratitude. Which makes them want to give back.
And slowly, a community grows, that supports one another the way they were supported earlier.
So when I say that, I'm not just tossing a slogan at you without thought. I'm telling you my piece of how we make a community for our people. Take that piece, and use it when you build something for our community. And so on.
Y'all are my people. Just as I am your people. And if we work together, we can only get stronger as a group, a bouquet of identities, and as a community.
donni saphire
mhoye
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
Molly White