Yarr! Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day! š“āā ļø
discountstorytime
@eeyorc
- 5 Followers
- 17 Following
- 70 Posts
Me mighty orc warrior, who lost job. Now me work for humans, drive Prius, and have cat. Also, chased by angry villagers with pitchforks, which is lame.
Iām taking the plunge.
Just because my ex-mob-of-angry-villagers cheated on me, that doesnāt mean I have to be alone and unchased.
āThereās plenty of angry mobs with pitchforks in the seaā, my mom would say.
So Iām setting up my profile on VillagR. Wish me luck!
#humor #orcs
Orc doctor said me getting on the āhuskyā side, even for an orc. Doctor recommended trying vegetarian diet, like lots of salad.
Me try and love it. Me think chicken salad is nom-nom. Me now a vegetarian that eat chicken salad all the time. Yay vegetarian!
Me try and love it. Me think chicken salad is nom-nom. Me now a vegetarian that eat chicken salad all the time. Yay vegetarian!
Me literally canāt even.
Me took kitty for evening walk yesterday. Guess what? An Orc was being chased by a mob of angry villagersā¦
MY mob of angry villagers.
Those two-timing traitors!
Why they chase other orcs? Me not monster enough anymore?
Kitty being generous and bringing me live mice from hunting.
Orcs are terrified of mice! Mice second most frightening thing to orcs. (Immersive theater is most scary. Fourth wall there for a reason.)
Me appreciate the gesture, kitty, but please kill mouse dead first.
#cats #humor #orcs
Nando161Because I'm only seeing other #Jews posting about this, non-Jews I need you to be aware that for the past month or two there has been a wave of bomb threats and swattings at #synagogues all across the US. They usually do it when services are being livestreamed. I haven't seen a single non-Jew talking about this. High holidays are coming up in a few weeks, which is when most attacks happen against our #communities. We're worried, and we need #people to know what's happening to us.
#usa #america #antisemites #fyi #psa #ausgov #politas #alert
Every morning me take kitty for walk before work.
People and dogs see little kitty and run away.
Why people so afraid? She just a harmless little cat.
Handy tip for other orcs (perhaps for my orc roommate):
When cooking in kitchen, 'clean as you go' not that hard. Maybe make fun game of it, or something.
Department store me work for have a 'refer a friend' employment campaign.
It not go so well.
It not me fault all friends are orcs.
Department store hire a bunch of orcs and put them in room together. What did they think was going to happen?
