I'm not going to be posting about the job any more after this, because it's kind of become serious. So I'll just leave these thoughts for any other ex-gifted children who may have burned out.

I'm quietly revelling in having managed to create a situation where I'm the head architect on a potentially huge project but I work from home 100%. It's unheard of, but has been accepted by everyone (especially the boss, who signed my contract after finding out).

Don't forget that I've drunk like a fish basically all my adult life until very recently. Peeling the therapy onion back revealed social anxiety (for which I can get means-tested benefits) and PTSD.

So having managed to do this, it's like a cloud has lifted. I can think clearly without anxiety scrambling my brain and I don't even get the desire to drink because it would be silly (and there's no anxiety to push me). Previously, I'd not be reliable enough due to the drink. I'm being treated like some sort of fucking Yoda in work, it's absolutely nuts.

Yes, I was always the smartest kid in school, but gifted child to burnt out husk of an adult is a well-worn pathway. There's very little in the way of "redemption" stories so I'm kind of stunned (and not a little exhilarated) at the moment.

Anyway, nothing is permanent. I need to ensure I don't suddenly trigger the PTSD, for example. But I'll take this win gladly right now.