Dear Channel 4 News,
I don't have a television, but recently saw one of your news broadcasts whilst staying in a hotel.
Words alone cannot describe my utter disappointment and shock when I found that your political correspondent is not an * actual gibbon * named 'Gary'.
Instead, I now see that it is just some bloke in a suit calling himself 'Gary Gibbon'.
Even worse, it's not even a monkey suit either.
This is simply unacceptable.
For the the sake of diversity and inclusion, but more importantly, for sheer entertainment value, we desperately need a simian focused view of the UK's crap political system.
Why, oh why, oh why do we have to have the same tired old 'political analysis' delivered by and for, white, male, public school and Oxbridge educated twats?
Please find and recruit an actual gibbon named Gary for this role.
More simian based current affairs commentary please!
Yours faithfully,
etc etc