Mastodawn

Dan Nov 5, 2023

exme Nov 5, 2023

Week one of video diary behind me and it has been strange. I have a routine of recording about 10 minutes, then I watch that and record another bit afterwards.

What has been most surprising is that it seems to help me unmask. When I speak only to myself I'm pretty unmasked, and seeing & hearing my unmasked and stimming self makes me feel safe. It's not horrible and nothing bad happens. So I have unintedly unmasked publicly during this week, more than before. #ActuallyAutistic

Dan Oct 31, 2023

I hate that it's called social media. I don't come here for media, I come for social. It makes it sounds like a news service but I hate the news.

I Googled for "why is it called social media" and see arguments that "social media isn't actually very social", explanations about "what is it that makes social media 'social'?" etc...
But nothing focusing on the question of "why do we describe it as a news service instead of a place for friends?"

I think maybe I even miss MySpace a little...

Dan Oct 31, 2023

eli Oct 31, 2023

I do not understand why people don't fully read my work emails. I spend so long making sure I am being clear and accurate, formatted to be easy to read, including all relevant details. And still. People respond with questions that are answered *in my original email*. If only they spent a couple minutes actually reading what I painstakingly wrote, they wouldn't have to waste my time and theirs with this ridiculous back and forth.
#ActuallyAutistic

Dan Oct 31, 2023

Kim Oct 31, 2023

One of Adam Savage's aphorisms that I like a lot

》It's not a problem to solve, it's a process to manage.

Feels like it applies well to being #ActuallyAutistic (Savage is not au afaik, but he's mentioned adhd)

Dan Oct 21, 2023

wb x64 Oct 20, 2023

I feel like a hallmark of being #actuallyautistic is wanting very much to have a large community of support and camaraderie and socializing and enjoyment, but due to interpersonal and regulation issues not being able to achieve that: even when you get a bunch of nerds together who all love, say, Pokemon, that doesn't mean they'll get along or even tolerate each other. And the chances are even worse with families or colleagues.

Dan Oct 20, 2023

dan 💾Oct 20, 2023

macOS but pronounced like tacos 🌮

Dan Oct 19, 2023

Me: Posts about emotional manipulation and mentions having a history of being a victim to it in my childhood.

Older guy who I already get a weird vibe about:
"Wanna catch up for mini-golf on the weekend?"

Feeling a bit like a beacon!

@[email protected] #actuallyautistic

Dan Oct 18, 2023

Loops 🍑

Oct 18, 2023

😮‍💨 I just had a conversation end poorly

my intent was decided for me

No room to correct that

I am the only authoratative source on my meaning and intent. It makes *no* sense to have me offer to clear something up and decide to keep hold of your misplaced hurt.

It's got to a point where I don't know how to engage with these people that are my friends. I'm accused of caring more about specific wordings than productive conversations but the moment *I* say something ambiguous, it's assumptions all around and no room for correction. I wouldn't even mind if I was just told what I'm supposed to say and I could go along with it, but of course one is supposed to "just know".

I don't understand these people that will go into a conversation completely uninterested in knowing a truth - for whom an assumption is enough and understanding of actuality outside their realm of care.

I was having *such* a good day, and that was a massive blow. I feel like no ND communucation is allowed - and the best part is, I'm too impulsive to do it any other way

Please stop deciding my intent and listen.

(tags follow)

@neurodivergents #ActuallyAutistic #CommunicationProblems #AutisticCommunication #neurodivergent #NeurodivergentCommunication