@tayfonay @aliceamour 👀

There’s a cricket in my cage that chirps most of the night that I refuse to eat because it’s fun watching the humans try to find it because the sound annoys them.

@tayfonay You’re fuckin right you do

@alexpsmith This is the content I’m here for

When you barely make it into bed after a night out at the bar

What month is it? December?? I have emerged from my reptile brumation slumber like a phoenix arising from the ashes, took my first dump since August. What’d I miss? Did Harris win?

Hey frenz, I’m still in low power mode and haven’t taken a dump in 2 months. Carry on.

Looks like I’m a reason the humans can’t emigrate. Hell, I can’t even move to Hawaii because they don’t have any native lizards or snakes, and the big island already has an invasive frog problem. The dogs think they’re part of the equation but I know who holds the power in this house.