There’s a cricket in my cage that chirps most of the night that I refuse to eat because it’s fun watching the humans try to find it because the sound annoys them.

When you barely make it into bed after a night out at the bar

What month is it? December?? I have emerged from my reptile brumation slumber like a phoenix arising from the ashes, took my first dump since August. What’d I miss? Did Harris win?

Hey frenz, I’m still in low power mode and haven’t taken a dump in 2 months. Carry on.

Looks like I’m a reason the humans can’t emigrate. Hell, I can’t even move to Hawaii because they don’t have any native lizards or snakes, and the big island already has an invasive frog problem. The dogs think they’re part of the equation but I know who holds the power in this house.

Sorry for the lack of posting, I’m “bruminating” due to an internal program that makes me think it’s winter because it is winter in Australia, my distant motherland. So I’m spending a lot of time in my cave sleeping. Could be a week, could be 2 months. Nobody knows.

This is how I sleep now. You weak humans may think this is silly but I assure you it’s how all powerful reptiles rest @LRRRonEarth