Mastodawn

SpliceFixer

@SpliceFixer@infosec.exchange

159 Followers

367 Following

884 Posts

Artist | poet | writer | speaker | editor | bisexual | non-binary | neurodivergent | advocate for the underrepresented |  I try to be better than I actually am.  Creative director at TuskCon. Drop bear surgeon at CrikeyCon.

Please yell at me if I forget to add alt text to images.

Pronouns	They/Them
Location	Queensland, Australia

Aral Balkan Aug 14, 2024

If your criterion for what makes a person smart or successful is how much money they have, you live in exactly the world you deserve. For everyone else, it’s up to us to relegate this shortsighted and self-destructive myth to the annals of history and build a kinder world with humane success criteria.

e(Ag)le 🦅Aug 14, 2024

Intentional misgendering as punishment comes up a lot in cases where a trans person is openly against one's views, or has committed a crime.

High-profile examples include Caitlyn Jenner, Christine Chandler, Chelsea Manning, etc.

As with many things, the people you target, especially high-profile personalities, often won't even see your messages to begin with. The ones who will are the trans people in your own life.

And what they'll see is that you don't sincerely believe that trans women are "actual women" or trans men are "actual men".

Why? Because if it's something you apply as a courtesy to only people you respect, then it means you don't actually believe it to be universally true, that people who identify as a gender are that gender.

If you respected the self-determination and agency of trans people, this wouldn't even feel like a thing you could take away from them.

That's why it's a problem, and it's not worth doing, even to people you really dislike.

I've just uploaded a new video to YouTube, taking a look at the character of Peter from my book, "Dragon Silver, Wizard Gold".

I use these character dives to look at the motivations of my characters and to explain the choices I make while writing. My characters don't always do the expected thing, as they each have internal priorities that may not be immediately understood, much as normal people have their own priorities. I try to always be true to the character when writing, because that character needs to get up and live inside the mind of the reader.

Please watch, like, and subscribe. My channel is only a few weeks old, so I will appreciate every supporter immensely.

https://youtu.be/0Zbe7NrALyk

#writer #YouTube #writeToBeRead #AuthorTube

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

My second YouTube video about Varthien has just dropped. This is a deep dive on Norman, one of my favourite characters. Norman is a wizard, transmasc, and a deeply flawed individual who is trying his hardest to be perfect.

https://youtu.be/0Zbe7NrALyk?si=LTNk6VvkU--5gybL

#AuthorTube #writer #varthien #KrisSihto #characterdesign

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

Charles Herold Jul 30, 2024

@mattsheffield There are two kinds of weird people in this world. Those that, when you call them weird, get really pissed off, and those that, when you call them weird, say, thank you, that's what I was going for.

All the Republicans are in the former group. All the fun people are in the latter group.

Oh, and the book is available here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Dragon-Silver-Wizard-Gold-1/dp/B0D7PX2Z8X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ILVIO5BLEwmgCWGBZCM8ydsN5rFEBgCLuA1f-6vDjgrjN_03Z93gB7PgqZUrhgYG59pDmCqqwXYKyjLY8Krmg8VOH1jrhpby28xq2Pk9nq_0f42hgtluQtfSQNU1zh8eFuq8WFVfHtSo544Lg1UAyXFiKNCCScehQzMTznrCTny74_pVyi1cPbX5YPoCpfTfIoTpKazRFaP0gf4-XYwlSdVtQzWgjIbLO8_8qS72OeIw2ZnY-6iJW2RSkSu_kYjGWW4MKs36ruPERW-n9qepB4sixipYQals9zehdSPDaxA.rQxkieVPCS8CuiwdhOEjx_rBdfmnFuA6xGQGIWKQsOM&qid=1722306194&sr=8-1

Server Busy

Did I tell people my book is out? My book Dragon Silver, Wizard Gold is out on Amazon and Kindle.

But also, I've just started a YouTube account to discuss the mechanics of my world and why my characters act the way they do.

Please drop by. Listen. Subscribe. And maybe read the book.

https://youtu.be/9t8mF8Ka2dA?si=5iUdemknBoxwwYrC

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

Good morning to #trans, #enby, and/or #GenderDiverse Fedi. I'm looking for some input, please.

I'm reading through the edits of my latest novel. Lem, my main character is agender and uses she/her pronouns.

At one point, she says (of herself):

#AskingTrans @lgbtqbookstodon

Foxytosin 🏳️‍🌈Jun 22, 2024

UPDATE: I've gotten in touch with the owner and will reunite them with their wallet! Thanks for everyone's input!

So I found a wallet on the ground for an Australian citizen with some important travel docs on it

Found a Facebook account and sent a message, but no response so far and it may be abandoned

The only bank card is paypal, so there isn't a local branch I could take it to. Everything else is australian

I have address and full name info, but haven't found any good hits on lookup tools. Most of the ones I see are US focused though.

Any recommendations for how I can return this wallet that doesn't take way too much effort?

EDIT: Local Australian consulate is closed for the weekend

Boosts appreciated

Natalie Jun 22, 2024

I've been working my plump bum off recently because I'm opening a new Sewing Lair store in Moorooka! I'll be co-managing the store with the lovely Deb and both of us will also be sewing for our businesses out the back of the shop too.

The shop will stock all kinds of brilliant salvaged textiles, yarn, patterns, books, trims, haberdashery and notions just like the OG Beenleigh store but in a more compact form. We are excited to be a bit more central to the city so we can spread the message about creativity, craft and sustainability and extend our community.

I'll have a selection of my products available in store too! I'm a bit nervous about taking my kinda weird t-shirts and other stuff into the real world. Fingers crossed that goes well!

(Before anyone asks I will not be doing garment alterations!!!!! 😩)

#sewing #brisbane

×

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

Good morning to #trans, #enby, and/or #GenderDiverse Fedi. I'm looking for some input, please.

I'm reading through the edits of my latest novel. Lem, my main character is agender and uses she/her pronouns.

At one point, she says (of herself):

#AskingTrans @lgbtqbookstodon

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

My editor (a cis gay man) has added the following note in reference to the term AMAB:
Potentially problematic term here. While used by some in the community, others are against the use of these terms.

He shared two links as evidence. This:

https://purpleandgreenblog.com/2020/08/23/amab-afab-problematic/

Why Using AMAB and AFAB is Problematic

I have used AMAB (assigned male at birth) and AFAB (assigned female at birth) many times since I started this blog. But I recently heard an argument against using these terms that I think is worth …

Purple and Green and the Life in Between

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

And this:
https://youtu.be/au5UBsAZ8lA

Using "AMAB" and "AFAB" Responsibly

YouTube

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

For context, here’s my perspective. I don’t have a gender. I am generally perceived as female. My pronouns are she/her. But I get very uncomfortable when anyone calls me a woman … because I’m not. I am fine describing myself as having been born AFAB.

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

Here’s what one of the bloggers said.

But honestly, if you called me one of those terms, it would trigger some serious dysphoria.

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

The video in the second link is really helpful in explaining how the terms AMAB and AFAB can be weaponised by people who want to force people who exist outside the gender binary into it.

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

So. Does anyone have any suggestion for how I can reword this to be more inclusive (while talking about being excluded)?

Samantha Rose Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee
I haven't personally formed a significant view on terminology around this yet (still figuring all this out...), but I happened to see a video discussing this earlier today [linked below] which makes some points which makes sense to me.

It's basically arguing that it's better to not use it as an acronym, but write it out in full to not try make it a casual thing to use, and (I can't remember if this was comments or the video) to explicitly use past tense to make it clear that this is in the past.

So that would change the original sentence to something like:

".. over again that people who were assigned male at birth couldn't be..."

Oh, and that small text fragment you posted, and that you are asking this question, make me want to read the book, as I currently use transfem nonbinary as the closest thing I can find to describe me.

PS. Sorry, I don't have spare brain power to read/watch your references so I don't know what they say.

https://www.tiktok.com/@elliejf2/video/7379416774434901290

TikTok - Make Your Day

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

@samantha42
That's a really good suggestion. Thank you.

nyancat_rainbow

@clacksee I would rewrite the sentence and I’d use a more impactful term than ‘assigned’. I would say something like ‘people who were proclaimed as men at birth’. In my mind, this intensifies the absurdity of the argument.

Tilde Lowengrimm Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee This is a completely reasonable way of putting it. I have a very similar gender to your protagonist and that is basically word for word how I might explain it in a similar situation.

There is no need to cut "AMAB". Assigning genders at birth is a garbage practice. But it is a practice, and the gender you are assigned has a huge impact on your experience, regardless of your actual gender(s) or lack thereof. Talking about it in that context — as something externally assigned rather than something intrinsic to your body — is a reasonable and normal mechanism many trans/enby people use to distance themselves from society's unreasonable actions.

masukomi Jun 23, 2024

@clacksee i think this ticktok covers my thoughts on it well, and i think she’s very right that the original phrase is ok butbthe work it’s become is trending increasingly problematic and that’s not good for words frozen in time.

thoughts based on that: AMAB is about the historical assignment event not the present person.

get rid of AMAB and use words saying ~ the doctors guessed i was male but they were wrong

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPREYe1jA/

TikTok - Make Your Day

masukomi Jun 23, 2024

@clacksee sorry misremembered sentence in original. But maybe something along those lines still… instead of AMAB “people born with boy parts” or something along those lines

(Although that is also kind-of problematic because of excluding intersex folks)

dor Jun 28, 2024

@clacksee tbh, the character saying those things IS trying to gatekeep and control someone else's gender presentation. I haven't watched the video but I dislike the assigned gender at birth acronyms for their ease of use in gatekeeping. I think it fits the character.

If you really want to change it, I think you might be able to leave it out. "He said that I can either be a trans woman and use she/her, or be nonbinary and use they/them." The reader still gets all the info that the main character has a penis but wants to use she/her pronouns.

Briala Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee Since the text appears to be in Lem's voice, I think it should be asked whether using "AMAB" is something Lem would or would not do. In some ways, it is still a useful shorthand and I believe it does have a fairly unambiguous meaning. I personally don't use it often, but I would use AMAB to describe myself (I'm trans and prefer she/her).

Blaine D. Arden Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee Amen to that.
I feel the same (non-binary).

Kaia 🦚Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee
It is a problematic term, for two reasons. One, it was originally used in the context of describing intersex experiences, and has been messily coopted into trans experiences.

Secondly, the term describes a past event, something that happened to you. It shouldn't be a lasting identifier, and to serve as a new binary to enforce how different people should behave.

That said, is it realistic? Probably. I've used the term before in certain circumstances, and I can certainly imagine a cis friend wielding it against your POV character in a way that's at least somewhat distressing, especially since the friend is calling her AMAB while actively policing her pronouns

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

@kaipeacock
Thanks. That’s useful context.

K. N. Brindle (they/them)Jun 22, 2024

@kaipeacock @clacksee

I think we need to distinguish between a problematic concept, and a problematic term.

The concept of birth-assigned sex is problematic for a lot of reasons. But having a term for this problematic concept doesn't automatically make the term problematic

I also want to push back against the idea that if a term can be or is weaponized, it becomes problematic. If we cede language to those who misuse it, we lose

1/2

K. N. Brindle (they/them)Jun 22, 2024

@kaipeacock @clacksee

Even tho originally coined in terms of intersex experiences, it's a very useful phrase for ALL people (yes, even cis people) as a replacement for all manner of way worse phrases.

I also agree that it's a reference to something that happened in the past. Which is exactly part of why it’s useful. SAAB, like socialization, is something that **is done** to us. It's not within our power. We should be clear about that

2/2

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

@knbrindle @kaipeacock
Yep.

.carla Jun 23, 2024

@clacksee interesting that the (2) comments on the link are from people who don't have a problem with the term personally.

Briala Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee @lgbtqbookstodon This reads pretty good to me. Lem is reacting against gatekeeping of what someone else thinks about what pronouns she should use. So her response is excellent - she and she alone gets to choose.

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

@static Thank you.

Blaine D. Arden Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee @static I agree with Briala. Lem is talking about what someone else says about her. I think it's perfectly fine to use that term in this way. It shows the microaggression and Lem's reaction to it.

gapneyj Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee @lgbtqbookstodon i see no problem with this (for context, i am nonbinary, transfem, and was amab, but i am not agender)

yeah, amab/afab can be problematic. and i mean, it *is* kinda problematic here…but that’s also the point? the things the friend is saying are unkind and inappropriate, and the MC is relaying the anecdote in a context that (more or less) makes this clear.

i also think it’s chill when people describe *themselves* as amab/afab, if that’s how your character IDs

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

@jepyang
Thanks. That’s useful context.

gapneyj Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee my pleasure! best of luck with the writing :)

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

@jepyang
Thank you. This is the fourth book in the series. And generally Lem gets good response from readers. The so-called friend was actually introduced in a prequel short story and – wow – did readers hate her. She thinks she's an ally, but she's determined to police everyone around her (for their own good).

gapneyj Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee well imho you’ve nailed the vibe of the unhelpful ally! 😱

gapneyj Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee @clacksee like if i were your MC, i would be upset both about my friend policing my pronouns *and* about them wielding “amab” like a cudgel to enforce their gender-policing

but as a reader, i have no problem. if i were gonna tweak it…maybe i’d throw something in to make her negative reaction more unambiguous.

that said… i can also see how there’s a push to get rid of amab/afab entirely, and how those terms might seem dated relatively quickly, the same way ftm/mtf can be now.

T. T. Perry Jun 22, 2024

@jepyang @clacksee

So well put!

gapneyj Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee oh, one last thing i’ll add

if i’m gonna use amab/afab, i try to use them as past-tense verbs rather than adjectives. i am not an assigned-male-at-birth person. i was assigned male at birth.

i do see plenty of trans people continue to use them like adjectives, so i don’t think this is a dealbreaker, but possible worth considering. it may also depend on whether you see this passage as your MC relaying her friend’s words, or describing herself internally…

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

@jepyang
Setting the character aside for a moment and speaking from my personal perspective, I’d probably use it as an adjective for myself. I don’t have a gender, but other people perceive me as having one, so for me it feels like a handy way to acknowledge other people’s perceptions but at arm’s length. If that makes sense … which it doesn’t.

Honestly the whole existence of gender confuses the crap out of me.

Shouty person Jun 22, 2024

This series basically explores that confusion a whole host of ways. But what I don’t want to do is use terminology in problematic ways, even if it would be valid for her to call herself any term she wants. Because readers who aren’t as familiar with gender diversity will read it and be like, ‘oh, this must be a good term to use.’

gapneyj Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee yeah, it’s a tough position for real! it’s no simple thing to convey the context around this stuff.

i suppose with this particular example you could use quotes to differentiate between what your MC’s friend said to her, and how your MC might self-describe? (but i also don’t want to get too far in the weeds here, since it already reads fine to me!)

.carla Jun 23, 2024

@clacksee @jepyang given the context, it seems to me that Lem's friend is the sort of person who would use AMAB/AFAB with righteous gusto. I'm not sure what pacing and/or focus you want here, but maybe you could extend that passage to also mark the problems with the terms in Lem's response to them? I mean, the friend is policing Lem's pronouns - to me using "AMAB" underscores that she's thinking about rules, rather than wanting to understand and support Lem.

gapneyj Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee no, it does make sense! i have a looooot of feelings around “amab” and the various other ways of conveying that information about myself, and one thing i keep coming back to is that even if it makes me kinda uncomfortable at times…it is absolutely a handy term for self-describing, and for connecting with other folks of roughly similar life experience (especially as an enby!).

for me, verbing it helps me maintain that arms-length distance, but i get how it could be the other way round!

Rad 💛🤍💜🖤Jun 22, 2024

@jepyang @clacksee @lgbtqbookstodon Seconding this.

K. N. Brindle (they/them)Jun 22, 2024

@clacksee @lgbtqbookstodon

I would say that this particular grammatical use: “AMAB people” is awkward and maybe problematic. If you write it out, you'll maybe see why: “assigned male at birth people.”

It's a verb, not a noun. "people who were assigned male at birth” is much more natural, and so “people who were AMAB” is a more natural use of the acronym

SinMisterios Sep 1, 2024

@lgbtqbookstodon @clacksee As an afab agender person using she/her (or any human) pronouns, I think part of thinking myself as agender is related to not caring to what my gender is, rejecting the pressure to perform in any way according to any gender stereotypes. So, I find it easier to just keep the same pronouns I've used all my life than choosing new ones and feeling I have to perform according to another gender, that I'm not either.

If freeing me of being a woman, would set me into another box, I dont think i fit in (because hey, Im agender), it won't make me feel any better. The feeling of having to perform something I'm not, would only mean I have more work to do if I pretend to be a more marginalized identity. Cispassing is a thing. Its a privilege I won't deny I have.

So I think that's why I sticked to she/her pronouns and also why choosing only they/them or other neutral could feel pointless to refer to myself, because I feel there's some association between neutral pronouns and nb or gendeefluid and I usually feel more agender than nb or genderfluid.

Also, I don't think I have to perform more nb or gender fluid to be seen as me. I don't like when I feel people would associate me more with women than with nb or genderfluid people, because I feel closer to nb or genderfluid people and their experiences than I feel to women but I do enjoy my afab body and my woman appearance and I don't think I should or need to change an appearance I like to be seen as me or seen as someone who don't strongly identify with women experiences (I do share some and I sometimes identify as woman for political reasons)

In short, since I dont strongly identify with any gender, I dont care much about my pronouns either but feeling pressured to choose any, makes me feel like I have to perform accordingly or I won't really belong or like I should care about something about me that I don't care as much.

Shouty person Sep 1, 2024

@sinmisterios
Oh, same, same for all that.