I survived partner abuse.
Also survived going to #37c3 on Hard Mode: with my abuser present but with a contact ban.
Post-Traumatic Growth since 2020.
Talk to me about cognition, psychology, space, science, ultraviolet and burns.
I read fluent German and I love comparative germanistic linguistics (SE/DE/EN/DK/NO/NL)
Proud member of the Swedish national team in Yogasport. Yes it's a thing.
I'm not coming to #39c3. This means that my abuser who has a Congress Contact Ban towards me can dance without fear of bumping into one of his survivors. 🙃
This man is still proudly conducting cybersexual misconduct towards me, something that he openly admitted to #schiedsstelle.
I'm one of the very few people who have successfully gotten a person banned from Congress. It was awful and draining to do so, but in all fairness the police process was worse.
Before there was a Schiedstelle, the congress would not exclude anyone, because the congress wouldn't allow survivors to open a case.
Nowadays we can open a case, and we can get a decision in our favor, if our case is good.
But as a result, congress now _explicitly welcomes abusers_. To me as a survivor this becomes a mindfuck: YES we believe you, and YES the abuser's freedom to do almost anything takes precedence over the survivor's well-founded fear.
I'm not sure that's an improvement.
Regarding "exclusive areas" offered to me:
For a gaslighting survivor this is an inappropriate safety measure. I already wrote that I declined the offer and decided to dress in High Visibility instead.
What's not in the decision is that Schiedsstelle also offered an exclusive area TO HIM. They told me he also declined. But by telling me this, Schiedsstelle meta-communicated to me that _he would need protection from me_. This contributed to my pre-congress agony.
Here's the Decision that my abuser and I got from Schiedsstelle in June 2022. His name is censored.
I'd like to emphasize once more that I'm thankful for the voluntary work that Schiedsstelle has put in. The process as a whole has been empowering and healing.
However:
- As you can see the misconduct of the abuser is ongoing. This is confirmed by all parties. Yet he is allowed back to congress.
- I expected to get one abuser-free congress, but I was denied this.
As a gaslighting survivor one tends to be convinced that you're isolated and alone. That noone will believe you.
Therefore it's very helpful to be clear with a gaslighting survivor that you believe in their story.
But the decision from Schiedsstelle, where my abuser was excluded for only one year, made me believe that my case is an edge case, that I'm barely convincing. I didn't feel welcome to #37c3.
18 months later I know this is not the case. I wish I would have gotten more context earlier
My abuser got One Year Exclusion and Five Years Contact Ban from Schiedsstelle.
At #37c3 I learned that this is a semi-harsh verdict. I also learned that less than 50 people have even opened a case over the past 5 years, and an undisclosed subset of those cases led to exclusion.
This means I have managed to do something that almost noone else has been able to. I wish I had known some of this before congress. It would have made December less agonizing for me.
Help wanted:
By minute 47 Schiedsstelle/Arbitration Board mentions statistics about their work. I'm not sure I get the full meaning... what I hear is that the number of annual cases are "einstellig" (0-9).
Do I understand correctly?
Is 0-9 the number of open cases or decisions in favor of the Anklagende?
https://media.ccc.de/v/37c3-11718-weil_be_excellent_to_each_other_nicht_reicht#t=3097
Clemens aka data