As a patron of Mastodon, I have access to the Discord with other instance maintainers. Chatting with @Gargron , it sounds like the big issue with .social is they need to do a DB server upgrade, but their host is taking a long time to provide the upgrade (holiday in Germany?).
If you're on mastodon.social, please hang tight. It will get better, but it'll take time.
If you're suggesting new servers for friends, suggest mastodon.online for now. It's a smaller instance, run by the same group.