Look, all I’m saying is that I bought that bag of candy yesterday and I haven’t even opened it yet. So I think, I deserve some kind of reward. Like maybe… a piece of candy?

(Eating potato chips at 4am) Hmm… maybe I shouldn’t store the potato chips here next to my bed.

I just pressed [cook time] [3] [0] [start] on the microwave instead of the [30 seconds] button. I am so sorry for letting you all down like this. I will strive to do better.

Time to make some hot dogs! (Taking the dogs for a walk)

A very quiet sneeze is a shhneeze.

How many kids in grocery stores only know these characters as cereal mascots?

I couldn’t believe the loud sound made by the container of counterfeit tennis equipment falling over. It was a real racket racket racket.

I stayed up too late and now need some pre-breakfast. A little bit of an early muncheon. Just a tiny snackerbite.