I'm still alive but barely holding on everyday.
:(
:(
Shy Dogger. Snoot Lover.🔞
-------------------------------------------
PFP By: Edwiener (FA)
Banner By: Me, The Gay
| Hobbies: | Snootin' |
| Pronouns Etc: | He/They |
Chewie!!
- 143 Followers
- 144 Following
- 485 Posts
♂️
Shy Dogger. Snoot Lover.🔞
-------------------------------------------
PFP By: Edwiener (FA)
Banner By: Me, The Gay
Shy Dogger. Snoot Lover.🔞
-------------------------------------------
PFP By: Edwiener (FA)
Banner By: Me, The Gay
Why can't I be happy.
Why can't I belong.
Why can't I get the help I need.
It doesn't exist does it...
Nobody cares...
Stupid dog.
Nobody cares.
You can say whatever.
Nobody cares.
They don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care if you are gone.
They don't care about it.
They don't care you are ill.
They don't care.
It's your own personal hell.
They just don't care.
They just don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care.
Why can't I belong.
Why can't I get the help I need.
It doesn't exist does it...
Nobody cares...
Stupid dog.
Nobody cares.
You can say whatever.
Nobody cares.
They don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care if you are gone.
They don't care about it.
They don't care you are ill.
They don't care.
It's your own personal hell.
They just don't care.
They just don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care.
Does anyone else feel violently ill for a couple to several hours everyday?
I feel so awful all the time. I've been cracking up for the last year and it's only getting worse and worse and worse.
I need help but nothing exists.
Why can't I be happy anymore?
I haven't been happy for so long.
I haven't been happy for so long.
I haven't been happy for so long.
I feel like I'm dying almost the time, and most of me has already done so inside. The pain is too much.
This approach was poisonous to me for a number of reasons:
1) It created expectations:
- I should mask as a character I am not in real life. People didn't like me, they liked a character, and when they had enough of the character acting, they left.
- I should be open to more than my comfort or own kinkiness, because I needed to provide others with their own comfortability.
- I should do what people want, because if I don't, I will lose them.
2/?
For a long time, a more naive me believed that I could make closer friends in the fandom by opening myself up through ERP.
I have a social disorder, and therefore, I thought if I offered myself in a new and different way, I would be able to make people finally happy. I was focused on this premise because I lacked or failed at connection though any interaction I tried to create.
This approach was poisonous and I was wrong in so many ways...
1/?
I have a social disorder, and therefore, I thought if I offered myself in a new and different way, I would be able to make people finally happy. I was focused on this premise because I lacked or failed at connection though any interaction I tried to create.
This approach was poisonous and I was wrong in so many ways...
1/?
Just so you all know, I have a social disorder so unless you are rather blunt with me from time to time I'm gonna have a hard time understanding you or your intentions.
If I seem to be misinterpreting what you are saying let me know and I'll correct for that!
This has lead to lots of trouble throughout my whole life, so the more clear things are: the better!
Don't bottle it up, just tell me!
If I seem to be misinterpreting what you are saying let me know and I'll correct for that!
This has lead to lots of trouble throughout my whole life, so the more clear things are: the better!
Don't bottle it up, just tell me!
I reset snooter.space from the ground up... so here is a new introduction post!
I'm Chewie! I'm a silly dog on the internet and I intend to keep it that way. FYI, this account is an AD of sorts, so I'm a little more of a private doggy than most!
Interests:
-Snoots!
-Videogames!
-Snoots!
-Furry stuff
-Snoots!
-Did I mention snoots?
-Art!
-Snoots!
Nice to meet yah! More info in the thread bellow!
And I'm not exaggerating. It's like a chronic pain in my gut from guilt and mourning and anxiety and deep depression.
I don't want to be so sickly anymore, but I don't think this feeling is going to go away for a long long long time.
I don't want to be so sickly anymore, but I don't think this feeling is going to go away for a long long long time.
Gonna be honest. I've lost a lot of people lately both (to deaths and cut contacts)... and I feel like I've been gutted like a fish, and then stuffed full of razors ever since it all has happened.
It's been months, but the wound keeps getting worse, and I've felt viscerally ill every day since it started.
I feel horrible. Both mentally and physically from all of this, and I've been trying to pilot a ship that's already crashed.
It hurts me so much.
You see, I'm somewhere between everyone else.
I'm not divergent enough to be called autistic or get any support despite the overt similarities; but also so far from neurotypical to be socially acceptable or palatable to anyone else.
Basically, neurotypical folk, see me for all the flaws resting under my mask; and all the neurodivergent folk, see my years of training in masking.
I can't escape this social paradox...
(2/?)