I'm still alive but barely holding on everyday.
:(
:(
Shy Dogger. Snoot Lover.🔞
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PFP By: Edwiener (FA)
Banner By: Me, The Gay
| Hobbies: | Snootin' |
| Pronouns Etc: | He/They |
Chewie!!
- 143 Followers
- 144 Following
- 485 Posts
♂️
Shy Dogger. Snoot Lover.🔞
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PFP By: Edwiener (FA)
Banner By: Me, The Gay
Shy Dogger. Snoot Lover.🔞
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PFP By: Edwiener (FA)
Banner By: Me, The Gay
Why can't I be happy.
Why can't I belong.
Why can't I get the help I need.
It doesn't exist does it...
Nobody cares...
Stupid dog.
Nobody cares.
You can say whatever.
Nobody cares.
They don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care if you are gone.
They don't care about it.
They don't care you are ill.
They don't care.
It's your own personal hell.
They just don't care.
They just don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care.
Why can't I belong.
Why can't I get the help I need.
It doesn't exist does it...
Nobody cares...
Stupid dog.
Nobody cares.
You can say whatever.
Nobody cares.
They don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care if you are gone.
They don't care about it.
They don't care you are ill.
They don't care.
It's your own personal hell.
They just don't care.
They just don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care.
Does anyone else feel violently ill for a couple to several hours everyday?
I feel so awful all the time. I've been cracking up for the last year and it's only getting worse and worse and worse.
I need help but nothing exists.
Why can't I be happy anymore?
I haven't been happy for so long.
I haven't been happy for so long.
I haven't been happy for so long.
I feel like I'm dying almost the time, and most of me has already done so inside. The pain is too much.
I'm not sure where else to go with a messy thread like this. I have a million more things I could say... But I would go on forever.
I'm stepping away from RP and ERP for the foreseeable future. It's for my health and the health of others.
I also hope this helps anyone else who feels like they are in a similar situation to myself.
Keep well everyone 🩹❤️
4) I'm demi-sexual:
-ERP without friendships is hard. It's really hard to do. When I built up my friendships, I had fun, even if I ignored my kinky comforts. But the first few encounters were brutal
- When I lost those ERP friendships, my stomach felt like broken glass. It hurt even more knowing people only really liked the mask I put on
-My stomach still feels this way everyday. The pain has only increased since. It hurts my day to day functioning
5/?
-ERP without friendships is hard. It's really hard to do. When I built up my friendships, I had fun, even if I ignored my kinky comforts. But the first few encounters were brutal
- When I lost those ERP friendships, my stomach felt like broken glass. It hurt even more knowing people only really liked the mask I put on
-My stomach still feels this way everyday. The pain has only increased since. It hurts my day to day functioning
5/?
3) I have trauma and I might have made it worse for myself:
-I grew up in a small town and school, and everything you did, everyone else knew about. To say the least, I'm still in the closet when it comes to my nsfw side because I feel like everyone is watching me and judging everything I do.
- I've had private artwork I've commissioned for myself and for the interests of others leaked or posted without my express consent.
4/?
-I grew up in a small town and school, and everything you did, everyone else knew about. To say the least, I'm still in the closet when it comes to my nsfw side because I feel like everyone is watching me and judging everything I do.
- I've had private artwork I've commissioned for myself and for the interests of others leaked or posted without my express consent.
4/?
2) It was not good for someone with a social disorder:
- I masked very heavily as someone I wasn't to make people like me more. An ERP persona that I presume they might like more than myself.
- I really didn't know what I was doing. Reading cues has always been a very difficult thing. I stumbled through ERP, because I stumble through both new and old social contexts.
- I was making relationships that relied or seemed to rely on that ERP element.
3/?
- I masked very heavily as someone I wasn't to make people like me more. An ERP persona that I presume they might like more than myself.
- I really didn't know what I was doing. Reading cues has always been a very difficult thing. I stumbled through ERP, because I stumble through both new and old social contexts.
- I was making relationships that relied or seemed to rely on that ERP element.
3/?
This approach was poisonous to me for a number of reasons:
1) It created expectations:
- I should mask as a character I am not in real life. People didn't like me, they liked a character, and when they had enough of the character acting, they left.
- I should be open to more than my comfort or own kinkiness, because I needed to provide others with their own comfortability.
- I should do what people want, because if I don't, I will lose them.
2/?
For a long time, a more naive me believed that I could make closer friends in the fandom by opening myself up through ERP.
I have a social disorder, and therefore, I thought if I offered myself in a new and different way, I would be able to make people finally happy. I was focused on this premise because I lacked or failed at connection though any interaction I tried to create.
This approach was poisonous and I was wrong in so many ways...
1/?
I have a social disorder, and therefore, I thought if I offered myself in a new and different way, I would be able to make people finally happy. I was focused on this premise because I lacked or failed at connection though any interaction I tried to create.
This approach was poisonous and I was wrong in so many ways...
1/?