The year is 1992.
I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
“Hello?”
“Honey, it’s me.”
“ Hi mom, what’s up?”
“I need you to translate something for me.”
“Right now?”
“It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
“Okay sure mom, what is it?”
“There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

The phone is put near the radio

“Could you hear it honey?”
“…Yes?”
“Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
“…I’m sorry, what now?”
“Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

“The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
“Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

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