Alan LevineYou enter a large ballroom or conference venue, full of groups of people having interesting conversations. Many people you know, quite a few you do not. Do you expect to be part of every conversations from start to finish? Do you mill about seeing where you can drop in? Do you rely on people later to tell you what you heard?
Dan Blickensderfer@cogdog Full disclosure: After milling about I go back to the hotel room and fire up Twitter. Except for that one valuable time I sat in a rocking chair with Chuck Pearson and @Readywriting. #OpenEd16
Christina Hendricks@Dan_Blick @cogdog @Readywriting @cogdog I mill about for a little while with a drink and search desperately for people I know while trying not to sip too quickly that one free drink I get. Then I talk to a couple of people I know and they leave and I look desperately around again and see no one I know so like Dan I go to my comfy corner of social media.
Kate@clhendricksbc @Dan_Blick @cogdog @Readywriting I stand like a secret service agent frowning implacably at the crowd till my free drink is done, and then I flee with indecent haste. I am absolutely the most rubbish at this.
@mahabali knows that this is why the assumption of conference networking as a social bonus makes me wary. For introverts it really often isn't. I have a capacity for it measurable in minutes.
I want to meet @katebowles in person and then flee with indecent haste.
@Dan_Blick @mahabali @cogdog @clhendricksbc @Readywriting It's the reason behind a lifetime of flat shoes: there will be fleeing. There will be indecent haste. There will be all kinds of social hopeless.
catherinecronin@katebowles @Dan_Blick @mahabali @cogdog @clhendricksbc @Readywriting @lauraritchie I love this thread :) I'm such a cultural hodgepodge of the countries I've lived in that I'm likely to speak or hug inappropriately. there may be awkwardness, but there will be laughter. virtual hugs, all ;)
Maha Bali مها بالي@catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @lauraritchie @clhendricksbc @Readywriting
I need to blog about hugs and how they terrify me but may as well write it on Mastodon :)
I wanna hug so many people but not everyone and it worries me that some people may think i wanna hug them when I don't and vice versa.
Culturally, I am ok w hugging women but some women in some cultures aren't ok w that. I am culturally not supposed to hug men but do sometimes. Internal code. Incomprehensible
Fredrik Graver 🎥🥌@mahabali @catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @lauraritchie @clhendricksbc @Readywriting Hugs are interesting. In university I hugged people a lot (my friends, male and female, called it "Fred's hug therapy") but somewhere along the line around 25 yrs. ago I lost the habit...
I think it had to do with moving and suddenly being unsure of the social codes in the new place.
@fgraver @catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @lauraritchie @clhendricksbc @Readywriting
Which makes me sad. Because hugs are so...beautiful...when they're authentic
Which makes me sad. Because hugs are so...beautiful...when they're authentic
@mahabali Yep. Makes me a little sad to think about it, but very happy on the rare occastion meet up with someone from those days and can give them a hug.
@catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @lauraritchie @clhendricksbc @Readywriting
@mahabali But - to the original question. I agree it's very cultural. Norwegians in general are very reserved, and hugging someone you've only just met would be considered...unusual.
@catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @lauraritchie @clhendricksbc @Readywriting
Laura Ritchie 🌸I agree with @fgraver on the cultural thing. I remember Italian students at uni who gave amazing hugs, genuinely warm embraces but somehow not intrusive. My french Sister-in-law gives beaucoup de bisoux (3 or 4 cheek-to-cheek kisses in the air). Hugs? In England? um. not so much. -often very awkward- contact is important for life, but there are many ways. Uninvited hugs from small children melt me. :) @mahabali @catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @clhendricksbc @Readywriting
@lauraritchie @fgraver @mahabali @catherinecronin @cogdog @Dan_Blick @clhendricksbc @Readywriting From the #smallstories division: last night I was at an interminable high school presentation night. Student after student slogged across the stage in summer heat and no aircon, to accept a certificate and shake hands with a local politician.
Suddenly this kid gets an award for such extraordinary community greatness that the (female) politician hugged her, she beamed, and we all laughed.
@katebowles @catherinecronin @cogdog @Dan_Blick @lauraritchie @fgraver @clhendricksbc @Readywriting
On my graduation day, upon receiving one (ok 2) awards (for extracurricular stuff) our university president at the time hugged me. It was a wonderful moment. You don't "ask" for hugs on those occasions...
On my graduation day, upon receiving one (ok 2) awards (for extracurricular stuff) our university president at the time hugged me. It was a wonderful moment. You don't "ask" for hugs on those occasions...
@lauraritchie @catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @fgraver @clhendricksbc @Readywriting
Oh i cannot wait for my child to meet you Laura (she falls in love w ppl quickly and...i hate to say this but it is true...likes blondes...so she will probably like you on sight, then love u as she gets to know u.
Can *I* hug u?
See that is the trick. Sometimes I have to check w women if I can hug them (which makes no sense in my culture)
@mahabali @catherinecronin @katebowles @cogdog @Dan_Blick @fgraver @clhendricksbc @Readywriting of course! I love hugs - I don't love hugs as small talk, you know when everyone gets a WHAP-SPLAT! hug because it's some default greeting. Perhaps that's a projection of my discomfort in @cogdog ballroom... For me hugs are like laughter & Kate's story has it perfectly.