What would happen if the borg tried to assimilate the Discworld?

Who would win in a fight between a hundred borg and the luggage?

#Discworld #Pratchett #books #SciFi #Fantasy

@golgaloth I feel like Granny Weatherwax would pull the vampire trick and assimilate the Borg instead

@afewbugs @golgaloth

This is the canonically correct answer.

My non canonical version is that the Borg would be destroyed in the attempt of assimilating everyone on the Disc. Agnes alone contains two contradictory personalities. And then, of course, there’s Nobby…

@mtearle @golgaloth then Vimes would somehow figure out how to arrest the entire Borg collective
@afewbugs @mtearle @golgaloth Or Carrot would, actually

@Archergal @afewbugs @golgaloth

OK, here we go:

The Borg try to assimilate the citizens of AM but their sheer stubborn individuality makes them difficult to assimilate and instead infects the Borg with dangerous glimpses of independence. This results in one of them committing a minor crime and is duly arrested 100% by the book by Carrot. Vimes, thanks to some ideas subtly planted in his mind by Vetinari, realizes that, as a hive-mind, if one is guilty of a crime then they all are. He therefore arrests the Borg Queen on behalf of the entire Collective for jaywalking on the Ankh. She appeals to the Patrician who sides with Carrot’s logical explanation that all sentient beings are subject to the same AM laws. If the Borg are not sentient then they have no rights under the law. If they are, then they are all equally bound by it. As a hive-mind, they must share equal responsibility. The logical bind they are now in, in conjunction with the infection of AM individuality, causes the Borg hive-mind to rupture.

Six months later, the Borg have been assimilated into AM as just another ethnic group with clothing stores and takeaway joints. Seven of Nine is a rising sergeant in the Watch, mentored by Carrot and Angua who both understand what it’s like to have a dual nature.

@mtearle @Archergal @golgaloth and now that a group of people with glowing eyes, pale, hairless scalps and a proclivity for dressing in black are just another Ankh Morpork minority, Death gets to stalk the streets a lot more openly and even gets to go out for the odd curry instead of having to get takeaways

@afewbugs RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE MY DINNER.

@mtearle @Archergal @golgaloth

@pgcd @afewbugs @Archergal @golgaloth

I WISH TO ASSIMILATE ONE KLATCHIAN HOT #3. WITH EXTRA LUMPY BITS.

@mtearle @Archergal @afewbugs @golgaloth

I never expected a mash-up of Discworld and ST Voyager. That's... mildly disturbing.

Although, if #TerryPrachett had kept breathing, I think SevenOfNine would have made an exemplary Watch Officer!