scoot2hoot
MelThe enemy in feminism is the patriarchy and toxic masculinity.
Not men.
Read that again.
Men also suffer under patriarchy and plenty of women reinforce toxic masculinity in men.
Hating men is not in fact part of feminism.
Jordi (Spherical Queirdo)Misandry is just another extreme, like misogyny. Its basis is negative. True feminism and masculism compliment one another.
Ovidi Nawer@Jorsh @Melezioh almost there but not quite the core point of the post.
Misandry would be on a standpoint of "women superior". Sadly most of people who remark this point do -also- still think women are inferior in some way or another. Most commonly, physical prowess. To which I always say "you haven't seen a man lifting an elder person by himself, but plenty of women do, and believe me, they're as heavy as several boxes of alcohol, and less comfortable to carry".
Misandry would be on a standpoint of "women superior". Sadly most of people who remark this point do -also- still think women are inferior in some way or another. Most commonly, physical prowess. To which I always say "you haven't seen a man lifting an elder person by himself, but plenty of women do, and believe me, they're as heavy as several boxes of alcohol, and less comfortable to carry".
Jo - pièce de résistance@Jorsh @Melezioh
WTF is masculism?
I don’t think you know what feminism even is. I don’t think you listen to feminists. You should. Misandry is not a thing.
I highly recommend this podcast.
Topic starts just ~ 31:00
https://youtu.be/zh2FRf0DcQw
WTF is masculism?
I don’t think you know what feminism even is. I don’t think you listen to feminists. You should. Misandry is not a thing.
I highly recommend this podcast.
Topic starts just ~ 31:00
https://youtu.be/zh2FRf0DcQw
Misandry Is NOT REAL | The Audaci-Tea Podcast
Rabbi Liza Raizel@Melezioh I wish I could share it in bsky where I had today an argument about the very same topic after a non-binary person wrote that they dont get trans men that "joins the worse gender". I wanted to fucking scream
Nazo
Matthew MillerIt's really sad that this still has to be explained in 2026.
@Melezioh but men are by & large not doing the work at all. They aren’t deconstructing patriarchy. They aren’t challenging the systems. They aren’t compensating to right the wrongs. They don’t behave as allies or march with or for women. They profit from it without doing anything to compensate. If they cared about women’s suffering & theirs, they’d do something, but they profit from it. Until then, I think a good deal less of men. Whatever caring they have in theory, needs to be in praxis.
rob los ricosmen who do challenge the patriarchy are called 'insane,' and 'faggot' by folks who should know better.
constantly purging your ranks is not a good strategy for anyone who desires to build an inclusive community.
also, north american 'feminists' have it wrong. a woman replacing a man as the pilot of a jet fighter, bombing unarmed women and children, is not feminist.
@roblosricos @Melezioh
That’s the work. It’s hard, It takes courage & will. It makes space for others. It leads, though none may follow. Start learning from women who are capable of challenging the patriarchy and do it regularly somehow. I want to think men are capable, but you all keep telling us you aren’t and are unwilling to listen to actual feminists.
Here’s a playlist for you. You have ideas about feminism that does not come from feminists.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmcSDC7zShCi-PSMQEXmk-KQcEBuRT2Cr
That’s the work. It’s hard, It takes courage & will. It makes space for others. It leads, though none may follow. Start learning from women who are capable of challenging the patriarchy and do it regularly somehow. I want to think men are capable, but you all keep telling us you aren’t and are unwilling to listen to actual feminists.
Here’s a playlist for you. You have ideas about feminism that does not come from feminists.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmcSDC7zShCi-PSMQEXmk-KQcEBuRT2Cr
i've never read a femininst in the UYSA who was not merely preaching that women must take over the roles of men, under patriarchy. i'm much more aligned with feminists in the south and south-east asian nations.
who - btw - are ridiculed by white feminists from n. europe.
@roblosricos @Melezioh
Name one feminist book you read preaching that. I’ve never once seen or heard that from feminists.
Most feminists have no desire to reproduce the harms or systems of patriarchy, racism, or capitalism.
You sound like you just have bad taste in ‘feminist’ books on purpose to justify dismissing them & ignoring them as beneath you.
You could have tried reading bell hooks. The Will to Change, or All About Love.
Did you only read white feminists?
A Self-Help Guide for Men Who Want to EVOLVE
Flipper 🐬🏳️🌈@JoBlakely
all about love is a beautiful book; highly recommended.
HappyCrow13@JoBlakely @Melezioh Yeah I feel about the same as you do Not all men but almost always a man Telling your buddies to not be assholes is too much work It's not convenient to call out sexism or do anything critical thinking about your own biases. Much easier to blame women and call us haters. Until men put in the work to fix the problems I'll keep thinking less of them as a whole
Until men stop hurting and killing women for saying no men need to shut up about how women see them or act around them
Until men stop hurting and killing women for saying no men need to shut up about how women see them or act around them
@JoBlakely @Melezioh It's not hate, it's the truth. Women are not safe around men.
Clean your own house before telling me I should clean mine
Clean your own house before telling me I should clean mine
Raeve 
John Colagioia@Melezioh Other than the fact that too few people know the first word, I love "hegemonic masculinity" as a term, because it helps make that point. Men are "the problem" with patriarchy in the same way that the rest of the world is "the problem" with problems in the United States, probably complicit, but under duress due to power hierarchies.
Joe
Random Tux User@Melezioh
This I definitely feel as a man. People wonder I dislike driving cars, why I don't want to go out fishing, and plenty of other "manly" things. As an ace and potentially neurodivergent person, the stereotype of "men are lusty creatures that go after women" is also something that terrifies me. How much distance is correct? What are the non obvious harassment actions? I like to think I balance things good enough and I don't make people uncomfortable, but it is kinda a worry that I might accidentally do something wrong.
Though I do feel like I did something right, since the friends I chose myself (gender irrelevant) don't really make me feel on guard on those things.
@enthusiast101 yea I get you. I’m a trans man so I had to learn those boundaries. What was once okay for me to do or say, how close I could comfortably be to a woman without freaking them out all changed when I transitioned.
I’m also audhd and socially awkward and an anxiety ball so that just made me more unsure and awkward, but ah well.
mobidic
ChloChloaca@Melezioh men are also the only ones who can truly upend and fix the patriarchy.
We need men on board to fix this.
an actual bus@Melezioh Man that's twice I see you in my home feed with the based takes, I feel seen as fuck
danimo 🏳️🌈@Melezioh But refusing to reject a group—a significant portion of whom are oppressive assholes or silent accomplices—doesn’t help anyone either. Except the assholes. If one of the driving forces behind oppression is group dynamics, then that group must, of course, be rejected.
James Sreading again
reading again
reading again
reading again
... Damn it...
______________
Yeah... as I understand it, feminism simply demands equality for women in society. It's an extremely simple concept that should be a no-brainer.
It really is a shame that it gets taken as some kind of extremist manifesto.
Jhooper@Melezioh also worth stating that Toxic Masculinity isn't saying that masculinity is toxic, it's saying that there are toxic concepts and behaviors that are associated with masculinity.
The Cyberwitch@Melezioh ironically, patriarchy is pretty misandrist too. It not only describes, but insists boys and men be aggressive, emotionally stunted, cruel, and shallow slaves to their dicks. And it's frustrating to see the response to the "male loneliness crisis" doubling down on those values and insisting women find these traits attractive (which some sadly do), instead of realizing that this power-driven toxic masculinity is the common enemy.