Mastodawn

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

There now remains only a single hour until #MONSTERDON the weekly monster movie watch party! If you want to avoid a bunch of nerdy toots, best set up a hashtag filter.

The movie this week is REPTILIAN (1999), a remake of a Korean Godzilla ripoff! It's casted mostly with westerners, so it should be interesting.

It's on Tubi free with ads right over here: https://tubitv.com/movies/589311/reptilian

Or you can download from archive.org over here: https://archive.org/details/reptillian

Anyway, just hit play at the top of the hour and toot along.

#movies #cinema #cinemastodon #horror #scifi #godzilla

Tubi is the largest free movie and TV streaming service in the US. We are not available in Europe due to changes in EU laws.

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

There's about 15 minutes left until #Monsterdon! The peasants are getting the torches lit and the pitchforks sharpened, I think it's about time.

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

💡 TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 💡

(where applicable)

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Media Film International! Generic movies, for generic people. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

REPTILIAN. The Mark Zuckerberg story! #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Heh. I'm in command of this picnic outing! #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

They're gonna run into The Descent coming the other direction. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

ACTING! #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Whoops, there was a bear in the rock. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Man, I haven't seen acting like this since The Final Sacrifice. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

These names feel like they were picked from that list of Japanese-created fake American names, y'know? #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

The text animation's not bad, but the lighting says Shivers 2. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Oh we are in deep Shim now. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Oh, Critters 4! Nice. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

I dunno if this is really a remake, guys, we haven't seen even ONE obnoxious child with an itch ray yet. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Everybody in this film has terminal squint. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Fiddy tahms! Fiddy! #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"You're THE doctor wendell?"

No, just A doctor wendell. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"Heed my warning or we're all doomed!"

Eat more oatmeal!

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

My impression of this film so far is that it might've been decent if they'd hired actors. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Can we just blow these people up and be done with it please? #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

The only "Pewlitzer" this guy knows about is the sound he makes while leaning over the toilet after a night of drinking. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Did you know that carelessness accounts for 90% of all monster resurrections. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

This movie is allergic to people who aren't assholes. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Whoops, interrupted the doctor mid-stalk. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"In private."

Over by the mechanical bull.

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"I am not crazy."

Ignore the dribbling and the shouting. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"A shay-man of the local village"

This movie is ashamin' alright. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Okay, General Touchy-Feely #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

See, the movie's trying to do the fast-cuts-action thing and it's just. Not. Working. These people are all *deeply* fucking boring. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"I'd love to believe you but I don't"

That's... A helluva line right there. Writing™.

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"If I'm wrong, I'm just a foolish old man--" DRAMATIC ZIPPER "but!"

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

NOW I know what this is shot like!

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace!

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Ha ha ha, oh man that's awful :D :D :D #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

You... You can TALK to him? #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Oh! Oh, thank you! Thanks, movie, I appreciated that. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Lots of people claiming credit for the works of aliens in this pic. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

I'm sorry you got here as fast as you could, too.

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Looks like they replaced one asshole with another. #Monsterdon

...Look, guys, we're at quota on military old farts, let's thin this scene out a little, okay? #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

I can't believe there's still an hour left on this film. DRAGGING, BRING ON THE MONSTER

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

NONE of this makes any sense guys. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Smells like Kaiju Spirit #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Yeah yeah, cue Godzilla (1999) chopper scene. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Half of the dialogue in this film is just meaningless incidental nothing. The other half is cliche. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"Four, seven, three, eight!"

Who do we appre-ci-ate! #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Waaaaah, my choppers! #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"How do we stop it?"

Turn off the cameras and it all goes away, guys. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"Electronic particles!"

They're shooting LEDs at us, sir! #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Everybody's so shocked when their shit stops working, like there isn't an alien ship firing at them 9_9 #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Reptilian drinking game: Take a drink every time someone says "what the hell"

Die of alcohol poisoning five minutes in.

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Small arms fire. That's hilarious. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

I do like Yonggari's fireballs, though, he really puts his whole chest into them. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"You two know each other?"

Old boyfriend. You know how it is with bone diggers -_-

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Heheh, Sergeant Archie. But Verooooonicaaaaaa~!

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Oh come on, kill the children Yonggari. That's how you know a kaiju is for real. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Yonggari, literally the only kaiju to ever understand the concept of evasion. #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Sure, nuke New Pork City there. You've got at least four other cities in Definitely America, right? #Monsterdon

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"I'm your rabbit!"

I told you not to call me that in public, Tiger!

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

"Doesn't that thing have any weaknesses?"

Box office returns.

Cactuar Joe 3d ago

Jetpacks. This movie is *corny* corny. #Monsterdon

David Zaslavsky 3d ago

@CactuarJoe Korean kaiju are soft I guess

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

פְּרִי 3d ago

@CactuarJoe I need a drink.

פְּרִי 3d ago

@CactuarJoe for those counting, I opted for absenth over ice.