Charlie StrossKill it with AGENT ORANGE!
Seriously, was the focus group microdosing or what when they came up with this abomination? It's like Swamp Thing has come ashore in Aisle Six!
Yvan
sailboat
noodle
Andrew Deacon@cstross NO No even that monstrosity does not deserve exposure to Trump.
(Yes I know you were really referring to 2,4-D/2,4,6 T)
(Yes I know you were really referring to 2,4-D/2,4,6 T)
Joe Brockmeier@cstross reminds me of Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas, after losing the suit that held him together.
AlisonW ♿🏳️🌈♾️
Simon Bisson@cstross Isn't it a reskinned Fungus The Bogeyman?
GinevraCat@cstross That's something that emerges from swamps, not supermarkets!!!
mhd
JdeBP105,000 pieces, we are told.
https://famouscampaigns.com/2026/04/tescos-fruit-giant-gives-schools-a-bigger-helping/
CurtAdams
My God. It's full of sitars.
Jen
Dave🏳️🌈
Chantaru
Martin Hamilton@chantaryu2 @cstross Fruity BFG
woe2you
Arakin
HollieK
Domo 🦇 
Drew 🇵🇭
PhosphenesThis needs a whole back story about a GMO scientist who caught fire and plunged into the produce section. Today he fights crime and scurvy.
argonaut@cstross @bobthomson70
as a kid i would love it.
(but really: criticising even someone trying to get kids to eat their veggies is peak criticising. trying is better than not trying, and cynicism is worse than not-so-clever ideas)
malcolm
FatConan
welshtroll@cstross the adverts are even more deranged as the "fruit beast" is chasing children. Looks like it's made of insects to me.
saucerlostScary Veggies to Eat in the Dark
JdeBPI suspect that children are going to take to #Tesco's #TheFruitGiant. The advertising so far picks up and runs with the gruesomeness of the character and it has a certain sort of #RoaldDahl appeal, including 'A big giant did it and ran away!' and 'Oy! Fruitface!'.
The Fruit Giant | Tesco
Tarnport
Nomdeb
Marianne
Netraven
Eichi🐺
Nini
bit
Chu 朱If it's anything like how we do things in Canada, it was probably a good initiative that would look bad politically to kill so they paid an agency that is linked to the cattle industry or sugar industry to spearhead this campaign so they made this abomination to say they did a thing but gee, it just didn't work.
In Ontario, they made the heat pump rebate program so ungodly to access it's nearly impossible. You need to follow so many steps and pay $20k upfront for the pumps. I muttered under my breath that they probably paid off someone to make the program as shitty as possible. Then I found out it's literally administered through the natural gas distributor. Open corruption is what we've got here.
@chu It's 100% a campaign by the largest supermarket chain in the UK, Tesco. Not government.
C++ Wage SlaveRight. Essentially, over a four-week period, Tesco drops £0.01 into the kitty for each fresh food or veg item bought, up to a maximum of £2.7m¹. Items sold by weight, such as the four hands of bananas I typically buy², count as a single item and increase the kitty by only £0.01 in total. Tesco isn't exactly breaking the bank with this campaign. And I can imagine some parents shifting some of their grocery shopping to Tesco in an attempt to help their children's schools, can't you?
¹ I wonder how that figure of £2.7m was arrived at. Is it unrealistically low, so that extra fruit & veg purchases won't increase the size of the kitty? Or is it unreasonably high, making Tesco look more generous than it really is?
² Ook! Ook!
Raymond RussellOops, I just repeated your point ;-)
Caitlinmonster@cstross I am so glad I am not the only one. I came around the corner at Tesco and felt like I walked into Oogie Boogie’s plant-based cousin. The size of it enhances the HORROR.
SecondUniverse (she/her/they)@cstross It looks like it could get elected President.
Edd
B Thoreau 🛸@cstross I think this escaped from one of your books. 😁🤪
For Pete's Sake 🏴 🏳️🌈@cstross it's like a vegetarian Oogie Boogie after Jack Skellington ripped away his hessian sack ghost outfit !!
Pete Alex Harris🦡🕸️🌲/∞🪐∫It's maybe Oogie Boogie's larval form made of fruit, before the symbiotic bug swarm had eaten it and formed his mind.
@petealexharris @cstross dear God.. I'm going to have nightmares (before Christmas) about a rotting moldy fruit Boogie being eaten by caterpillars and fruit flies then spawning an egg-sac third stage Oogie bursting into a swarm of them XD
Fritz Adalis@cstross
Bite it.
Bite it.
jamesb (MW1CGG)@cstross
I'm thinking they've missed out on millions of sales by not doing an aubergine plushie. 🍆
I'm thinking they've missed out on millions of sales by not doing an aubergine plushie. 🍆
Quixoticgeek
Elizabeth
MacBalance@cstross Imma gonna steal this for a new D&D monster… Some sort of edible plant matter golem perhaps,
“When Edible Arrangements Turn Bad.”
Medium "
"utsider@cstross
I love it; it's Little Otik if he got to grow up and find gainful employment!
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0228687
I love it; it's Little Otik if he got to grow up and find gainful employment!
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0228687
