My four-year-old and I stopped to check on someone who was getting arrested today.
She had made it clear that she did want help, and I checked on with my kid as well before approaching.
The police officer tried to tell me off. "Do you think this is the kind of thing you want your kid to see? Do you think this is good parenting?"
Yeah, actually! If we see something happening that seems wrong, I want my kid to see me doing something about it!
Actually I think it's agonisingly embarrassing that there are so many small moments when it's difficult to do the right thing in front of kids.
"Sorry, we don't have time to stop and pick up that litter someone else dropped."
"That person is sleeping there because they don't have a home, and there's not much we can do to help"
I think the fact that the young are asking and seeing is a positive. They’re not learning to be wilfully blind.
A story and an idea.
Pre pandemic, when we went out a lot more and especially up to london, and could afford it, we’d carry little cheap cloth bags to give to street sleepers. If I remember, they contained some sanitary pads for the women (we had a few of each), a small bar of soap, a Mylar (emergency blanket), mini first aid kit, a led micro torch and a cigarette lighter. We didn’t put food in, and the whole thing probably cost a couple of quid as we bought bulk from Costco.
I’d had bad experiences buying food for street people (memorably one guy outside a hospital getting aggressive and rejecting the sandwich and coffee he’d asked me for as it was the wrong sort of cheese, I’m assuming mental health crisis) and these seemed to go well, especially the thermal blanket.
As you say, theres not much we can do for street sleepers, we never know why they’re there and just giving money can be challenging. But these pouches seemed an option for us and we would often hand out a couple each trip.
These days we have a crate outside the front door for delivery drivers and postal workers. It contains water, food bars and a few other thank you items (tissues etc) for anyone who needs them. Thankfully we live in an area where the local teens aren’t likely to steal the lot and we know it goes down well. Those folk get worked hard with no breaks and it seems the least we can offer to support them. Probably costs us ten pounds a month and they save us more than that in fuel and stress.
@UkeleleEric @scroeser @tempusfelix
There was a brilliant rap/spoken word performance that I remember hearing back in 2005 (I haven't found it since) where the lyrics said something to the effect of:
"This homeless guy asked me for money and my friend said, don't give it to him. He's just gonna use it for drugs and alcohol. Then I thought, that's what I'm gonna spend it on."
@AlexCorby @UkeleleEric @scroeser
Was it a Bristolian rapper called Dizrelli? That sounds like his sort of stance.
@tempusfelix @UkeleleEric @scroeser
I honestly have no idea. I heard it a few times inside a dorm in Australia back in 2005. All I remember is that the song was also criticizing the hypocrisy of criminalizing natural medicines (marijuana) while fast-tracking drugs like Viagra, and poked fun at how bizarre it was that modern society had to declare obesity an epidemic thanks to poor nutrition.
Some context for finding it challenging to give just money. This is just for me. Anything people do to help rough sleepers or beggars makes a positive difference.
1) there is an issue in some large cities in the UK where organised crime gangs send people out to beg, essentially as modern slavery. The big issue charity has done some work to help address this but more needs to be done.
2) how much is enough? A quid, 2 quid, the price of a shelter for the night? The shrapnel at the bottom of your purse? It’s kind of like the parable of the blind widow.
3) not always having cash on us in appropriate denominations, the government wants a cashless society for many reasons. Big issue sellers now carry card machines and mobile phones!
4) I don’t care what they spend it on. Adults do as adults do. If a drink eases the pain then so be it, I used to drink to mask pain, the only difference between me and them was a bed to sleep in. And losing that’s only 3 fuckups away.
Carrying a few little bags that might bring some help and a some loose change maybe made a difference. Just seeing them and spending a moment recognising their humanity. I don’t go out as much any more and in London particularly rough sleepers are hiding more due to the hostile nature of the built environment and private security wanting to keep their bit of Mayfair tidy.
As a final thought, I’m sure given the current bullshit austerity measures, the constant cutting of mental health services and welfare nets will lead to an uptick in homelessness, especially hidden homelessness in women and children. If you can, support your local food bank, give to women’s refuges, recognise the human next to you. It’s what drives those with dark intentions mad.
@scroeser 'welcome :o)
PS It's a non profit small collective, of which I happend to be part of. Half of us have access to this account.
> "Do you think this is the kind of thing you want your kid to see? Do you think this is good parenting?"
I bet they don't wait for kids to be out of the house/vicinity when they arrest someone who happens to be a parent 🤔
I don't think the officer was actually concerned about your child. Ii sounds more they were trying to undermine your attempt of normalising the situation: That people in a community can support each other, even when interacting with state authority.
I presume your child didn't just happened to be there, but that you made it effectively part of the parenting programme.
@scroeser Well done.
I remember my dad criticizing our "Obrigkeitshörigkeit" (deference) and I encourage my kids to break some rules.
I look forward to visiting Germany next month and ignoring signs together with them 🙂
That is fabulous parenting
@scroeser Hope everyone is safe now ❤️
I think police get upset when children see the police as they are. Last year my provincial government forced police officers into schools, against the policy of the elected school board. So many of the police statements about it were along the lines of, "we want kids to have a good opinion of the police, so we need to talk to them directly". They already have a hard time recruiting, they already feel ostracized, they want kids to like them at least
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