FiToday, well, its been one.
Struggled to get up first thing.
Sunday, so chill day, no fucks given.
Oh, outing for ice cream.
Body says no pretty quickly.
Keep walking I say.
More spasms.
Harder.
Friend says enough.
I say no.
Keep going, eat ice cream.
Pains get worse.
20 minutes to walk a 2 minute walk.
Ouch, I can't do this.
Get fish and chips for the child.
Car and home.
Distractions, spasms, pain, too much, need home.
Home, safe, food, no pressure.
Spasms worse, floor is friend.
Nap for a while. Child has eaten my food (its cool).
Stare at screen.
Wonder how many other people have to plan energy and toilet trips.
Wonder if I can realistically manage a 5 mile walk.
Wonders just how small her world is now.
Wonders about.......yeah, big thoughts for a body that is insisting on limiting it.
I am so done with all this chronic illness thing.
I'll be fine in the morning.
For now, I am thinking hot water bottle, tea, ignoring the outside world. I have a safe cosy bubble right now.
Lee C