Golden Retriever GFEverybody knows Scuba is actually an acronym. Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. But a Tuba could also be like Scuba except it's a TERRIBLE underwater breathing apparatus.
holothuroid@GoldenRetrieverGF
It might help with going down at least.
@holothuroid yes, in the water at least. Otherwise I have met very few Tuba players I would like to go down on.
Charles ☭ 
is a Green@GoldenRetrieverGF @holothuroid
Once upon a time, around 30 years ago, the piece of fiction contained in an issue of 'On Our Backs'* had the phrase "tuba players are the best kissers."
* a lesbian magazine with a lot of content about kissing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_Our_Backs
@celesteh @holothuroid to be fair I've never dated a tuba player. Flute, French Horn and Trumpet. French Horn was by far the best kisser. So maybe the amount of loops could indicate the degree of good kissies? Needs experimenting. 🤔🤔🤔
@GoldenRetrieverGF @holothuroid
I just assumed it was mouthpiece size. . . .
@celesteh @holothuroid well that claim needs experimenting as well. Loops vs mouth piece size.
@GoldenRetrieverGF @holothuroid
I propose a study including an alphorn player, the player of a python tuba, a trombonist, a tenor horn player and a french horn player.
We hypothesise that the alphorn will be worst and that the tenor horn player will be better than the trombone player, even if both use the same size mouthpiece.
The other instruments are present primarily for repertoire. Part of the grant application includes a composer in residence and a larger call for scores.
@celesteh @holothuroid seems sound.
@celesteh @holothuroid well that claim needs experimenting as well. Loops vs mouth piece size.
Coles Street Pothole@GoldenRetrieverGF Terrifying Underwater Bellowing Apparatus.
@ColesStreetPothole I did do a music appreciation class and we had questions about Napoleon and Sousa. One of the questions was who stormed Vienna and when the answer was "Napoleon" she went "Ah no way I thought it was Sousa". So now I have this image to Sousa laying siege to Vienna with Trombones and Tubas. I could see it.
internetsdairy@GoldenRetrieverGF tbf it could be helpful, and tuneful, if you're standing in water just slightly above your head?
@internetsdairy @GoldenRetrieverGF
Sudden unwanted memory of the smell of the interior of the sousaphone owned by my high school.
One time at a football game, somebody threw a brownie down the bell, so I was rotating, trying to get it out, but realised I had gone the wrong wag, so after rotating even farther in the opposite direction, out came the brownie along with a pair of dirty socks.
(The mouthpiece and first few metres of the instrument were not implicated in this event. But still.)
s0 Is Not A Sysadmin@celesteh @internetsdairy @GoldenRetrieverGF rapidly demonstrating the need for the garden-hose-to-tuba-mouthpiece adapter
@s0 @internetsdairy @GoldenRetrieverGF
Who amongst us has not taken a garden hose to a sousaphone....
@celesteh @internetsdairy @GoldenRetrieverGF hearing this in “my fellow umbrella-stands” Dead Ringers George Dubya impression
@s0 @celesteh @internetsdairy I mean we had to have the clean your instrument talk when the director found a clarinet headpiece completely full of mold. I played the flute but old reeds and spit valves consistently terrified me. my dad plays Trombone and I feel he lacks all respect for hard wood floors and carpets.
The insides of brass instruments feel like pocket dimensions I'd rather not be aquatinted. In flute society we just spit on the flute player next to us. Most of us are gay or have dated one of the other players boyfriends or both. We will have each other's spit on ourselves regardless. We spit on each other like civilized folk in the flute section. Not on the floor.
The insides of brass instruments feel like pocket dimensions I'd rather not be aquatinted. In flute society we just spit on the flute player next to us. Most of us are gay or have dated one of the other players boyfriends or both. We will have each other's spit on ourselves regardless. We spit on each other like civilized folk in the flute section. Not on the floor.
@GoldenRetrieverGF @s0 @internetsdairy
Brass players tell each other that it's almost all condensation and not spit.
That said, my tuba teacher had a giant spitoon
@internetsdairy @GoldenRetrieverGF @s0
This is why bell covers were invented....
CFO-Chief Fail Officer 🙈🙉🙊@GoldenRetrieverGF So is Cuba an acronym for Communist Underwater Breathing Apparatus ?
@andrelop or "Castro's"
Mans R
discobeez@GoldenRetrieverGF I'm in stitches! You people are hilarious