J. R. DePriest    :EA DATA. SF:23h ago
Mel

Urgh. I don’t even have huge hips but I do have a hip dip that can make them look bigger and it’s like the one thing I can’t really fix. I could get body masculinization surgery but I’ve never considered that as an option. I mean my hips will always be there and I’m not sure it’s even permanent. I just need to work out and manage my weight to try and keep from drawing attention to them.

Uneducated, on trans masc struggles, trans fems will basically say how easy we have it because testosterone takes care of everything. For many trans mascs that is far from true anyways, but here I am a guy that between T and my genes and natural height have been very lucky, and I still get misgendered on the phone and I will always have hips, even after I’m done with surgery.

Sigh. Anyways, no matter how many surgeries and how successful hormones on your body, it seems there will always be something.

Overall I’m thrilled with what T has and and all my surgeries have done. I’m a guy, I look like a guy, feel like a guy, am a guy, but I still struggle almost 12 years in.

Apr 3 at 2:21pmWeb
Show threadJoscelyn Transpiring1d ago

@Melezioh thanks for sharing, it helps to hear about what kinds of things affect my brothers and siblings 💜

Definitely something I can sympathize with from the other side. My shoulders and my hands….just something that I know we are unlikely to have a meaningful option for dealing with in our lifetimes, and I just have to accept. Some days the dysphoria hits worse. These kinds of things are just so frustrating and hard, and I feel you so much.

The idea that T can do everything hits a lot of young transmascs to, and so few realize there are options like voice therapy and facial masculinization surgery available (though often not as accessible or covered at the same level by insurance, fuck those asshats). And I have seen it send some down bad self-hating spirals, it stinks.

Show threadMel1d ago

@JoscelynTransient yea both directions have things we will struggle with and can’t really solve in our lifetimes and it sucks.

Yea. I know a lot of trans mascs expect T to do everything and it just can’t, even if you’re lucky in the genetic lottery. Good to see others that have been through it share the truth. It can’t solve everything, unfortunately, even if you’re lucky with your changes. Ah well.

Yea I think a lot of trans mascs that was facial masculinization surgery can’t get it covered. It’s harder to access for sure. And there’s body masculinization surgery that you don’t hear about much but it’s just fat redistribution and liposuction so not really a permanent solution and doesn’t ultimately get rid of hips anyways.

Show threadJ. R. DePriest    :EA DATA. SF:23h ago
@Melezioh I try to remember that cisgender people get misgendered, too. People make a lot of assumptions based on things that vary greatly and are not reliable indicators of gender. It feels different for trans people due to the dysphoria. I try to react to it with an immediate, gentle correction as if I were a cisgender person who is "used to this".
Show threadFaith, Purple haired feminist 🧋   23h ago

@Melezioh Hips sure seem like the final boss. I know some trans girls with amazing asses but I'm not one of them. If hip surgery existed and was safe (that last bit is important), I'd be very tempted. It's such a subtle thing and the natural variation in the cis population is huge, but it's a pretty big deal when looking at your own body in the mirror.

I'm sorry y'all get caught in the jealousy. I think we all tend to see the "best" and "worst" examples, and that's what our vision of transition forms around. Yeah, some trans guys get on T and start hitting the gym and look like Chads after a couple years. Some trans girls end up really pretty. But reality isn't that and even the pretty girls and the ripped guys are often struggling underneath the surface.

And there's always the things we can't fix.

For me, that's my hips and belly as well as my overall size (I'm 6'3"). Nothing that exists will fix those. I just have to remind myself that cis girls my size struggle with it as well.

Show threadMel23h ago

@faithisleaping I’d totally get hip surgery if it were safe and possible too, to reduce my hips. Both sides got hip issues just opposite direction.

I got really lucky on height. I’m an average adult male height at 5’10”-5’11” but again a both sides as there’s so many tiny kings out there down in the low 5” range.

I think it’s easy to get caught in jealousy looking at the lucky trans people that hormones did a lot but they had to put in the work too, we all know it’s not magic. I don’t begrudge the trans fems that get caught in this towards trans mascs unless they won’t listen when we tell them that really not how it is. It’s easy to go the grass is greener, after all.

I did get lucky but I think we all will have those one or two things that’s worms in our heads causing dysphoria.

Show threadjack23h ago
@Melezioh Relatable, I was told that T may help me reduce some breast tissue but they kind of just feel slightly more square. Still getting top surgery to solve that dysphoria. I think the hip/waist dysphoria hasn’t even hit me yet because I’m too busy with the chest dysphoria and wanting to lose weight for other reasons that part of me just assumes it’ll come out in the wash lol
Show threadMel23h ago
@ryker_rf5 yea, I feel that. Unfortunately when you fix one thing another thing does tend to emerge or become more prominent. It’s not that it wasn’t there, it’s just something else was worse. I’ve done what I can for most of my dysphoria through surgery and extended use of T so I’m left with what I can’t fix mostly. There will always be something, but things do improve greatly with say top surgery and changes on T and other surgery you start feeling gender euphoria, not just dysphoria, and that’s the best.
Show threadThe Human Capybara22h ago

@Melezioh I hear you there.

I'm 5'6 which is not too bad but I so wish for 2 more inches. And there's no solution for that.
Now that's in the States. In France most guys are my height so it doesn't feel so bad!

I try to remind myself that a lot of cis-men have issues with their hips, their height, their facial hair etc.
So it's not a trans issue, it just shows we're really like cis-men.

Show threadMel22h ago

@aSweetGentleman yea there are just some things there are no good solution for.

We really do have similar issues to cis guys in the end. Ours may be more common (like being shorter) or a bit more exaggerated (like hips due to the whole estrogen birthing hips) than a cis guys may be but similar issues.

US and some other countries just have higher average heights for sure. Other parts of the world there are plenty of shorter guys.

Show threadgkrnours3h ago
@Melezioh maybe a bit naive but wouldn't getting some weight hide the hip? Like santa claus could have really wide hip and people would think "naaah, that's all the cookies and milk"
Show threadMel1h ago
@gkrnours unfortunately when I gain weight I will gain it on my belly but also still gain on my sides. So at least to me it seems to make my hips look bigger. I also have hip dip that doesn’t change though, so that also makes my hips look bigger than they are.