I want negatives in life to go away, stop shoving itself in my face, adding more layers to the PTSD.
I believe, if we ignore the negatives, negatives continue to dig deep pits in my life.
So I talk about it, to call out the negatives, put a stop to it, to get rid of the negatives. Negatives have to be acknowledged.
Cant fix a problem without knowing what the problem is.
Most of my problems come from other people.
I cant fix other people.
45 yrs fixing myself, isnt much more I can do.
Have you tried meditation? There are many forms for different people ( & situations ) like different medicine for each patient ( & symptoms )
Tried conventional meditation for years & gave up. It was like trying to still the surface of water with the palm of my hand.
Tried TM ( https://tm.org ) which worked wonders for me & delivered on the promise of curing insomnia from day 1.
Many Osho meditations ( https://osho.com/ ) are useful.
Try & see what works for you. 🙂
@purrperl I have tried to get meditation... I was abused and locked up before I could get there.
Had a friend who was into sahasha (spelling?) yoga, but I couldnt relax.
Being left alone relaxes me.
The world wont leave me alone.
Phone calls, paperwok, schedules... I have hired someone else to do all that, but the stuff still bombards itself into my life, and the neighbors dogs wont STFU.
I color in complex coloring pages.
I dont know anything more relaxing than that.
Of course.
Anyway, fighting negative thoughts is like trying to shut yourself in a room, which is being invaded by zombies & monsters, knocking, trying to barge in. The more you try to fight back, plug this breach or that, the worse.
So open the door and let them in. What's the worst that could happen? Discomfort? You're already uncomfortable, so you have nothing to lose. Assure them, and yourself, that they can't harm you. They'll just get bored and leave you alone in a while. 🙃
@purrperl The worst: losing control of myself and watching myself bash my head into a wall.
Has happened countless times, out of my control, and I never wanted that even once.
I do often think of the negatives, and talking about it. Nothing can be done. I ruminate a lot about crap that happened in my past, trying to figure out what I could I have done to change the outcome of all those times I was hurt and abused.
Often, there wasnt anything I could do.
Those people hurt my life.
@purrperl I am going to try coloring while I let myself think of whatever comes to mind.
I do want to try things I haven't tried before.
I love trying new things too, but it sometimes seems to others as if I don't. I let in change through repetition, in an almost Scientific way, changing very few parameters at a time, and noticing little variations. If I like eating something at a restaurant, I will do it a lot. It may seem that I'm not trying new stuff. Yet, I am enjoying subtle variations of the same thing, that they maybe don't notice. Sometimes, a wild leap into the totally unknown is fun too! Lotsa change fast!
@purrperl "I love trying new things too, but it sometimes seems to others as if I don't." Same, they call me picky, as if it were bad... unaware there is a physical health element going on.
I do want to try new foods, and often order something new from Amazon Fresh. I dont want to eat foods that I know will bother my body. Often, I take the simple route and order what I know wont hurt me, so I often order the same things. Delicious!
I canceled my Amazon accounts 4 years ago. A long rant on why, could fill a blog article.
Here in Japan, I am surrounded by the unfamiliar. So there are few familiar patterns or cues to guide me, and so I am out of a boring rut, and am compelled to try new stuff. I just pick up a random food out of a supermarket shelf, and eat it. So many delicious flavors and foods discovered this way! I am loving it here!
Gotta run for now as the library is closing. We'll continue this very interesting discussion soon. Take care. 🙂
@purrperl I enjoy conversations like yesterday. Not something short, more my style of deep meaningful chatter to help solve problems.
The article about overthinking "1. Ikigai" Gave me insight about what I could genuinely focus on, instead of scattered about with so many activities (which my parents trained me to 'diversify) and I feel a deeper joy knowing I should focus on my choice of coloring, that fits all four of those criteria.
Colorist, inker, clean-up artist... I can be that.
Yep. You and I, both. I have the same feelings about what to do about the people who hurt me.
Terry Pratchett talks about "militant decency". It's natural to get angry at injustice. Rather than fighting the anger, turn it into motivation for seeking justice ( not revenge ). It does take some practice to distinguish the two. Justice is for all ( impersonal ). Revenge is just for me ( personal ).
I'm in Japan, and just now stumbled upon this awesome article:
I hear ya. I have faced a lot of that, even recently.
Sometimes, it's projection. Others are not punishing me. I think others think something bad about me, and are punishing me. When it's just me projecting my own negative image of me, onto them, and imagining they see me as I do. With meditation, that diminishes.
Sometimes, there really is slander out there. Bad people smearing you with a bad name, turning the masses against you. Happens to heretics, rebels, & freethinkers, a lot.
@purrperl yeah... Galileo... how angry the flat earthers were to contradict their beliefs.
I have heard of projection, but when I sense it from someone, they argue with me about it.
I dont know if I project anything. If I do, I dont recognize it.
I feel diversity and different views is acceptable, as long as nobody gets hurt.
Diversity is a wonderful thing! A wide variety of ideas, customs, cultures, languages, to explore. And their interplay. And you can mix & match, and synthesize something new yourself, something even better.
Yes, boundaries are very, very important, in making sure that nobody gets hurt. Ground rules, consent, respect for boundaries, and human dignity. That's hard to practice, since my own boundaries were violated in many ways, and badly. (See my profile for my whistleblower story).
What I learned from meditation teachers is— just sit and relax, as if sitting in your room with the door open. Let thoughts come and go as they will, even negative thoughts. The more you fight them, the worse it gets. It will be uncomfortable at first, to be surrounded by your own negative thoughts. Think of thoughts as guests, some welcome and some unwelcome. Ignore the unwelcome ones silently, don't chase them out. The welcome ones, serve them tea, and invite them to visit again.
@purrperl I like your advice here.
"The more you fight them, the worse it gets." I've lived all my life fighting against having the feelings that my parents punished me for having...
I keep forgetting that I am allowed to feel bad.
I thank you for the reminder.
Green Roc Thoughts
Ashwin Dixit