@GreenRoc

Have you tried meditation? There are many forms for different people ( & situations ) like different medicine for each patient ( & symptoms )

Tried conventional meditation for years & gave up. It was like trying to still the surface of water with the palm of my hand.

Tried TM ( https://tm.org ) which worked wonders for me & delivered on the promise of curing insomnia from day 1.

Many Osho meditations ( https://osho.com/ ) are useful.

Try & see what works for you. 🙂

@purrperl I have tried to get meditation... I was abused and locked up before I could get there.

Had a friend who was into sahasha (spelling?) yoga, but I couldnt relax.

Being left alone relaxes me.

The world wont leave me alone.
Phone calls, paperwok, schedules... I have hired someone else to do all that, but the stuff still bombards itself into my life, and the neighbors dogs wont STFU.

I color in complex coloring pages.
I dont know anything more relaxing than that.

@GreenRoc

Of course.

Anyway, fighting negative thoughts is like trying to shut yourself in a room, which is being invaded by zombies & monsters, knocking, trying to barge in. The more you try to fight back, plug this breach or that, the worse.

So open the door and let them in. What's the worst that could happen? Discomfort? You're already uncomfortable, so you have nothing to lose. Assure them, and yourself, that they can't harm you. They'll just get bored and leave you alone in a while. 🙃

@purrperl The worst: losing control of myself and watching myself bash my head into a wall.

Has happened countless times, out of my control, and I never wanted that even once.

I do often think of the negatives, and talking about it. Nothing can be done. I ruminate a lot about crap that happened in my past, trying to figure out what I could I have done to change the outcome of all those times I was hurt and abused.
Often, there wasnt anything I could do.
Those people hurt my life.

@purrperl I am going to try coloring while I let myself think of whatever comes to mind.

I do want to try things I haven't tried before.

@GreenRoc

I love trying new things too, but it sometimes seems to others as if I don't. I let in change through repetition, in an almost Scientific way, changing very few parameters at a time, and noticing little variations. If I like eating something at a restaurant, I will do it a lot. It may seem that I'm not trying new stuff. Yet, I am enjoying subtle variations of the same thing, that they maybe don't notice. Sometimes, a wild leap into the totally unknown is fun too! Lotsa change fast!

@purrperl "I love trying new things too, but it sometimes seems to others as if I don't." Same, they call me picky, as if it were bad... unaware there is a physical health element going on.

I do want to try new foods, and often order something new from Amazon Fresh. I dont want to eat foods that I know will bother my body. Often, I take the simple route and order what I know wont hurt me, so I often order the same things. Delicious!

@GreenRoc

I canceled my Amazon accounts 4 years ago. A long rant on why, could fill a blog article.

Here in Japan, I am surrounded by the unfamiliar. So there are few familiar patterns or cues to guide me, and so I am out of a boring rut, and am compelled to try new stuff. I just pick up a random food out of a supermarket shelf, and eat it. So many delicious flavors and foods discovered this way! I am loving it here!

@GreenRoc

Gotta run for now as the library is closing. We'll continue this very interesting discussion soon. Take care. 🙂