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"Yes, I am autistic. No really. This is not a joke." ~me
What am I doing on Mastodon?
I speak honestly, in a world where the primary language seems to be lies. I hope for acceptance of neurodifferent minds worldwide.
What I type about?
Mostly my autism, which is cerified at level 2 social interaction.
CW Content Warning:
Contains politics, cusswords, trauma, etc
Location:
Somewhere in America (not my choice)
| Profile Picture Description | Sleeping human face wearing mask + hat |
| Multiple Disabilities | Autism, biPolar, Dyspraxia, FMS+more |
| Pronouns | She/they/idc (female at birth) |
| Why Do I Post Negatives? | I'm a Realist. Maybe I have "Reactive Attatchment Disorder" |
I find many of the people who become afraid of me, are those who maybe afraid of what they dont understand. And they want the unfamiliar thing gone, and some run away.
I am not like them. When I see/hear something new, I want to know more! I like to learn about this world.
Defending myself hasnt been very sucessful. I still get hurt and abused, locked up for days sometimes....
But I dont hate myself anymore
"If you feel neglected and abused, it is very easy to neglect and abuse yourself." I'm watching a video, and yesh I used to be in that neglected and abuse myself, but that has been over 15 years ago...
I fight to defend myself, but most of the time, people witnessing my self defence often double down and abuse me some more, calling me hostile, vindictive, manipulative... when my real intent is to defend myself and not take their abuse anymore.
I want negatives in life to go away, stop shoving itself in my face, adding more layers to the PTSD.
I believe, if we ignore the negatives, negatives continue to dig deep pits in my life.
So I talk about it, to call out the negatives, put a stop to it, to get rid of the negatives. Negatives have to be acknowledged.
Cant fix a problem without knowing what the problem is.
Most of my problems come from other people.
I cant fix other people.
45 yrs fixing myself, isnt much more I can do.
I've learned, focusing on the negatives is a symptom of PTSD.
I dont like having PTSD.
PTSD is not my fault.
People did that to me.
Mostly from my parents.
And most everyone who decided they were authority over me...
Authority is the core of the cause of my traumas.
Trump is traumatizing me further.
I hear, I cant heal from trauma if I am still being traumatized.
So negative. I feel like I cant help the focus on negatives.
And all that bad, I want it to go away.
Finally, the upset puppy finally stopped.
6:30am to 3pm...
Owch. My nerves are jiggly.
The dog is still whimpering barking and howling.
I'm overstimulated, I am afraid of falling into a stupor again.
6 hours constantly... How long does it take for a lonely dog to run out of energy and sleep?