Mastodawn

i've been keeping this a secret for half a year, but i can finally come clean now.

i spent months editing the entire star wars movie. at first i made subtle changes (colour correction, fake shot/reverse shot scenes, etc.), but as the movie went on, my edits got more and more absurd (extra powerpoint transition wipes, doom door open/close sound effects, etc.).

i can't upload the full thing for obvious reasons, but here's one of my favourite parts: the death star scene. spoilers for a movie that came out nearly four decades ago

(EDIT: now available to download)

here's an example of what the earlier edits looked like: i added a bunch of shot/reverse shots and colour grading changes to this scene. it's stupid but it gets me every time

"who?"

this is my favourite joke by far. i'm not even going to describe what it is here, i want you to experience even a fraction of the surprise that the people i showed this to in person had when watching it for the first time

i mentioned keeping it a secret in the first post. you might be wondering why i did that.

this is an example of what noodle on youtube calls a "gaslight edit". the point of these edits is to present them as if you were just watching the normal movie. as the movie goes on, the edits get more and more extreme, and the victim viewer begins to doubt their memory. eventually, the edits become ridiculous enough that it's obvious that the movie has been edited, at which point you reveal your sick and twisted nature

The Art of Wasting Everyone's Time

YouTube

at one point, all the assets for the project were occupying 60 gigabytes of space on my laptop. it was worth every byte

here's one for all the ed edd n eddy fans out there

i made this for my girlfriend roxie (https://bsky.app/profile/roxie.computerwit.ch). she loved it so much she added several of her own edits -- for example, the additional "...eight" in the prior scene

Whoaaaa Roxie's on a spare 🎳 (@roxie.computerwit.ch)

she/her | Shaking my normal pills like a maraca dog girl | anarcho-autism Somehow one of the Co-Directors of @prismaticmotorsports.com Last Seen Location: Brushing sausage roll crumbs off her dress somewhere in Manchester, UK. minors dni

Bluesky Social

due to popular demand... Star Wars: Lynne & Roxie Edition in all its glory! i don't really know what i'm doing with torrents, so hopefully this works 🤞

torrent file: https://files.catbox.moe/lpng8l.torrent

magnet link: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:49042979e90ba04bab45c43c24b7fbbe98bc570e&dn=SWLRE&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.opentrackr.org%3A1337%2Fannounce

please seed!

for anyone wondering why the ending cards say "what he believed to be obi-wan's death"... i genuinely didn't realise obi-wan died in this movie. i thought he just teleported away, and that was why luke could still hear him.

i didn't even know about force ghosts being a thing. the idea to have a transparent PNG of obi's face appear whenever he talks was my own thing.

Celeste_demisexual

@lynnesbian New girls sleepover night idea!!

SYNTAX_ERROR 1d ago

@lynnesbian Seeding powers... Activated...

Jenny (cozy node)

@lynnesbian fun fact this torrent killed my phone a little bit and I had to use a real computer instead

@SymTrkl hahaha i'm glad you liked it!

@SymTrkl @lynnesbian ok wow that is not how big a 02:12:39 movie should be

@SymTrkl @lynnesbian it is hevc??? fucking hevc and 15gb??? bwh u couldve just as well encoded it with xvid to this size

(feel free to ignore me but miku damn)

@SymTrkl @lynnesbian how was this encoded. i know video editors tend to have dogshit export options so thats that, i can assume something like nvenc (with bad defaults)

@SymTrkl @lynnesbian also chances are the source material was not 1080p so 1080p here mightve been largely a waste

@SymTrkl @lynnesbian oh nvm apparently thereve been some rereleases at high resolution so its whatever

@SymTrkl @lynnesbian anyway i prospect this couldve very well been under 1gb

@zaire @SymTrkl originally it was ~4.5GB. when roxie added her edits and reexported it, she chose a super high bitrate (because she has Video Quality Autism) and yeah 16GB movie

@lynnesbian @SymTrkl i have the video unquality autism then lol (were i to wait for an encode to finish at 540p it would be a bit over 300mb probably, at 1080p 1gb at the very most but most likely ~800mb)

@lynnesbian I've never seen the first Star Wars movie, will I regret going straight into this?

MARIMO APPRECIATION ACCOUNT

Robert "Szkodnix"

@lynnesbian I added it to my seedbox

gardevoir, pokégirl!1d ago

@lynnesbian just ambushed my enbyfriend with this, and we got a lot of laughs out of it. thank you immensely

thank you for so faithfully preserving george lucas's original vision

artemist 17h ago

@lynnesbian i think this is the best edition, and you should upload it to torrent sites as "Star Wars" with no warning.

artemist 17h ago

@lynnesbian reminded of watching "The Force Awakens" when it came out and making fun of all the scene transitions

@lynnesbian best movie I've ever watched while drinking with friends. 10/10.

@lynnesbian we're all so drunk, and oonly at the garbage compactor scene

@lynnesbian pleaase, could we get a link to the origina/l dr pepper advertisement in there, we want to see it

@ada enjoy: https://youtu.be/XbyDDiNvxKY

1988 Dr Pepper "Oh Doctor Pepper can't you see I'm burnin burnin" TV Commercial

YouTube

@lynnesbian thank you. I stand by my previous ratings. mraotw,b we are so drunk

@lynnesbian @ada peak

@lynnesbian hope i remember this when at a PC

Crystals 2h ago

@lynnesbian I will be putting this on the family jellyfin and waiting

@lynnesbian Jed, Jedd 'n' Jedi

Angela Glansbury 🚽1d ago

@lynnesbian
huh, a lot better than i remember but i don't think i've watched star wars all the way through without falling asleep

luna the doggie

@lynnesbian I have started editing some footage of playing Minecraft with friends in highschool a while ago, the proxy clips kdenlive generates are like 100gb (with at most 10gb of source material)

neofox_googly_shocked

alina cyborg mouse

neomouse_cyborg

@lynnesbian the moment I saw you talking about this I knew this must be a gaslight edit. gosh noodle's video about it was so good

dmi 💽 1d ago

@lynnesbian yess fellow noodle enjoyer :D

alina cyborg mouse

neomouse_cyborg

@lynnesbian you have been given too much power

Dot Maetrix 1d ago

@lynnesbian I was not ready, and then I was not ready again. Amazing

the illustrious IRIS JAY 1d ago

@lynnesbian these are all absolutely incredible

Maverynthia🌱1d ago

"He has nobody to rely on!" Han Solo, Leia, R2, C3P0 and Chewy all being chopped liver.

Primavera, inevitável

anarchy_punk_nonbinary

@lynnesbian "E"

Dot Maetrix 1d ago

@lynnesbian "he"

@DotMaetrix i will admit that my skills and precision with ffmpeg -to 01:23:45 leave something to be desired

☮️ & 🍺 on 🌏1d ago

@DotMaetrix @lynnesbian he.