Petition to bring Clippy back, but give it slightly alcoholic divorced dad attitude.
Mate, I'm still 27 and I've almost always been fat for my whole life
<wheels around Hans Gruber style> I am making an EXCEPTIONAL spreadsheet and since I'm capable of killing you with Task Manager, you should be more polite.
@Gina I would sign for Pipey 
> It looks like you want to compress a movie file. Can I help? You know, with Piep Piper's revolutionary neural-network-optimized-sharded data distribution system, it's just six clicks away!

the internet is so fabulous...i searched "drunk depressed clippy" and what do u know, it delivered!!
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