Having a serious dilemma here.
My dad is a hard core, conservative, maga, racist, homophobic, corporate, old-school oil company man. He was also an absent father, and at one point all three of my aunts, and my grandparents, cornered him to tell him he'd been a bad father all of my life.
We've tried to maintain some sort of relationship, but with all the fascishittery going on lately, I have no motivation to or desire to even acknowledge his existence.
Here's the kicker:
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He's got Alzheimer's and is currently going down hill really fast. I'm being told that if I still want to talk to him, now is the time.
He's made several attempts to call over the last few months, and I've ignored them.
I have nothing to say to him that hasn't already been said, but the compassionate part of me thinks I should at least call him and ask him how his day is going.
I have some time today... I just don't want to.
Goddammit.
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@deadtom I have zero regrets over not speaking with my estranged father when I knew he was passing away from cancer. He didn't feel the need to watch me grow up. I didn't feel the need to watch him die. If you think that you still have something that you want to say to him, reach out. You know what's best for you. It's not an easy situation and I don't envy you.
I wrote my dad a letter after he died, then burned it in our fire pit. It was practically a novel. Made me feel better though.
@Heidiknits My brother and I have had exactly that discussion numerous times. 😆
Our grandfather, my dad's dad, was a great person and a great dad. My 97yo grandmother continues to amaze us all, and all of my dad's sisters are fantastic people. So one of the questions is how in the world did our dad become who he is growing up in a family like that?
I did just call him. It went fine. We basically had the same conversation three times, but it was a pretty mundane call.
DeadTOm 
Heidi