A question I've been thinking about a lot for the past two years, and more recently so with everything that's happening to me.

What does quality of life mean to you? *For myself I don’t know for now.

The definition is, of course, unique and specific to each person, and it changes over time.

Bonus if you're also autistic and/or have ADHD, because the growing uncertainty about my health isn't always easy to cope with...

#PTEN #Cancer #disability #chronicillness

@adelinej English is easier. Yes, I know I should be Frenching, but English is easier, especially for this kind of stuff.

This will not be terribly short, I'm afraid.

About ten years ago I started having failing health. I went to the doctor as I was able, did physical therapy, a bunch of stuff. All I knew was that my capacity was diminishing and I needed to be in a situation where that reduced capacity would not kill me.

That was the entire reason we started the move to France. To get into a house that was paid for (so we could afford to pay someone else for repairs)...that sort of thing.

As my health declined, I had to address this very question. I didn't start there though. I started with:

"Do I want to work until I die?"

I don't mean hobbies. I don't mean "put effort into <thing>". I meant work. As in, for a needed paycheck, competing against younger (smarter?) people, wondering every day if I would be unemployed tomorrow.

And I decided that no, I did not want to do that thing. And since my capacity was reduced, I also needed to reduce my reach.

I have an abundance of hobbies (if I ever get settled enough to pick one). I also have an abundance of maintenance required. Aaand...I've had to accept that I will probably still have to go back to work.

But, there are worse places than France to have a job. And that's probably at least a year down the road in any case.

But your question...what does quality of life mean? I don't mind earning to live, but I am absolutely sick to death of working to survive. I demand "my" time now. I prioritize my health (more) now, especially over my job. And I want to spend at least a little bit of time doing things that interest or engage me.

That feels modest enough to be reasonable to me.