Asta [AMP]
so the guy whose companies make self-exploding cars also makes self-exploding satellites and now he wants to "datacenters in space"

you realize they're going to explode, right. if they can't make one single fucking satellite not explode...
Mar 30 at 8:35pmWeb
Show threadAsta [AMP]2d ago
I don't know why I was surprised to learn that the starlink satellites explode! I mean, the cars explode, the trucks explode, the rockets explode

tesla humanoid robots and spacex space datacenters don't exist, but if they ever do, the first thing they're going to do is explode
Show threadAsta [AMP]2d ago
musk: "all I do is racism and con people. everything I touch literally explodes. I'm going to put exploding kiddie porn generators into space. we will not be able to launch satellites for thousands of years. we will be stuck on this planet forever. the burning debris will poison us all."

investors: "YES!!!! here is all the money!@!!!!!"
Show threadOzzelot 2d ago
@aud
He also made flamethrowers. Did they explode?
Show threadAsta [AMP]2d ago
@ozzelot I think he just slapped a tesla logo on pre-existing ones, which, admittedly, that's mostly all he does
Show threadOzzelot 2d ago
@aud well, first he had to slap himself on tesla, someone else's company, that's kinda an important part
Show threadDusty Attic2d ago
@aud I guess that's a consistent user experience, for some values of UX.
Show threadArcadiagt52d ago
@dustyattic @aud Chortles in #BusinessAnalyst. :)
Show threadschrotthaufen2d ago
@aud Maybe he should build cyber dick™️®️©️(patent pending), and sell them at a discount to tech bros
Show threadDave Alvarado2d ago

@aud oh god, I feel bad for the person who was the first "robot" that did the stupid dance on stage.

I hope they haven't exploded yet. Maybe they're safe because Elon didn't actually make them.

Show threadsmallerdemon2d ago
@aud I know a guy...
Show threadJessica the VI Artist🎚️🎹🌈2d ago
@aud @noondlyt Sad but true.
Show threadLAUREN2d ago

@aud

avoid the shrapnel zone at CES

Show threadAsta [AMP]2d ago
@noondlyt "now the first ten rows are the 'splash damage rows', and if you're not comfortable with that..."
Show threadPeter2d ago
@aud the X stands for explode
Show thread四1d ago

@aud Putting a giant heat generating structure in literally the worst possible place for heat dissipation seems like an onion article. One would have to be exceptionally stupid to seriously suggest it.

Also I assume we’ll have an exploding moon base soon. But we won’t have health care, education, or clean water and air…

Show threadCassandra is only carbon now2d ago
@aud I did not think I'd see Kessler syndrome in my life time, and yet.
Show threadAsta [AMP]2d ago
@xgranade goodbye GPS, we hardly knew ye
Show threadSnoopJ2d ago
@aud @xgranade GPS at least will mostly be affected inasmuch as new launches will be endangered by the debris, but it's small solace
Show threadAsta [AMP]2d ago
@SnoopJ @xgranade well, I guess that'll make it easier for us to pinpoint where, exactly, the orbital debris falls back down to earth.
Show threadSnoopJ2d ago

@aud @xgranade launch debris makes it to the ground sometimes (especially when their boosters explode in-atmo) but the LEO sats and debris mostly just get vaporized

not looking forward to finding out what will be the effects of adding a fuckton of vaporized alumina to the upper atmosphere, though

Show threadAsta [AMP]2d ago
@SnoopJ @xgranade I suppose the anodized lining on that particular cloud is that hey, we might not live long enough as a species to learn what said effect is.
Show threadjer2d ago
@SnoopJ
@aud @xgranade
Show threadSnoopJ2d ago

@nyquildotorg @aud @xgranade there *has* been debris that's made it to the ground, so… yea…

https://www.producer.com/news/farmers-asked-to-keep-an-eye-out-for-space-junk/

Show threadjer2d ago

@SnoopJ

That lady in Saskatchewan is a really great follow if you don't already know. https://mastodon.social/@sundogplanets

@aud @xgranade

Show threadabi2d ago
@xgranade @aud

amazing what a visionary like elon can achieve
Show threadschrotthaufen2d ago
@aud He’s going to IPO SpaceX, and xAI (which will be part of SpaceX, iirc). Of course he wants to build orbital Shodan. Just like he really wanted to build hyperloop 🙊