Simon Tatham
The existence of firewalls and air gaps implies that a truly comprehensive computer security posture ought to also involve earthworks and water cannons.
Mar 27 at 11:34amWeb
Show threadgnateMar 27
@simontatham How about boiling oil? After all, it contains 'elements' of the other four...
Show threadRoger BW 😷Mar 27
@simontatham Rolling boulders and flooding pits, to start with…
Show threadSimon TathamMar 27
@RogerBW "set a deep hole with spring-loaded sides, trip-wires, whirling knife blades driven by water power, broken glass and scorpions, to catch a hacker"
Show threadRoger BW 😷Mar 27
@simontatham "Ethersnakes. Why did it have to be ethersnakes?"
Show threadLeelooMar 27
@simontatham @RogerBW
Are you still joking about security, or describing PS1 era Tomb Raider games? 😜
Show threadCadbury MooseMar 27

@leeloo @simontatham @RogerBW

"Yes."

Show threadsnamellitMar 27
@simontatham @RogerBW I am partial to boiling oil, myself. There should be place for that in your setup.
Show threadCadbury MooseMar 27

@snamellit @RogerBW @simontatham

Don't forget the molten lead (and possibly boiling pitch).

I'm in favour of bastion hosts (possibly filled with either basilisks or BOFHs (who may be nastier still)).

Show threadElena ``of Valhalla''Mar 27
@simontatham what about crocodile pits?
Show threadpoetasterMar 28
@valhalla ah. And moat sharks. shameless plug https://poetaster.org/moat-shark
Moatshark (lazrarcade)

The home of Poetaster's tonetoys DIY musical instruments.

Show threadmhoyeMar 27
@simontatham we can tie this whole mythos together if someone can convince @hacks4pancakes to paint a blue arrow on her forehead.
Show threadSimon TathamMar 27
@mhoye @hacks4pancakes surely drawing one on a social media avatar is enough
Show threadfraggleMar 27
@simontatham let our powers combine. Earth!
Show threadjerMar 27

@fraggle @simontatham

[Oh come on people!]

Fire!

#captainplanet

Show threadDave HollandMar 27
@simontatham There's also a disappointing lack of trebuchets.
Show threadGuillotine Jones, FlâneurMar 27
@simontatham
Pleez don't leave out trebuchets and catapults, Simon.
Show threadSoozcatMar 27
@simontatham but everything changed when the firewall attacked
Show threadsarpauMar 27
@simontatham And parapets you need parapets.
Show threadzygmydMar 27

@simontatham

I have in the past said to a security department that I could tell their security posture had built in limits because they were not themselves staffing machine gun nests on the vital approaches to the datacentres.

Show threadSimon TathamMar 27
@zygmyd that'd probably have kept the duck out!
Show threadJ$Mar 27
@simontatham “Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.”
Show threadMark MasonMar 27

@simontatham
‘Where is the system server kept?’

‘Did you notice the Mott and Bailey structure in the car park on your way in?’

Show threadNot a Spring OnionMar 27
@simontatham They say that every computer security is breachable if you have physical access.
My rotating sawblades say otherwise.
Show threadDaveParMar 27
@simontatham
A moat with laser- headed sharks should do the job
Show threadInternet RandoMar 27

@simontatham

There is no war in Bot Sing Se

Show threadDźwiedziuMar 28
@simontatham
Also void or metal, according to other elemental sets.
Show threadpoetasterMar 28
@simontatham and Trebuchet.
Show threadloptaMar 30
@simontatham Don't be giving them ideas!