Roman Catholic here, born and raised, church every Sunday and catechism. As Roman Catholics, we don’t fuck around with reading the Bible. We daze off during the two readings and the Gospel, and we rely on the priest’s homily to sum it all up succinctly and with a couple of jokes sprinkled in.

18 years of going to church growing up and I don’t know what a Gog Magog is.

Isn’t gog magog a goose liver pâté? 🤔
I wouldnt know – im catholic.

18 years of going to church growing up and I don’t know what a Gog Magog is.

I believe Gandalf killed one of them.

That’s balrog.

I think what you mean is a game service that sells old games, and my collection of such games.

You’re confusing it for GOG.com.

I believe Gog Magog is when a person delivers a long, uninterrupted speech.

That’s a monolog. Gog Magog is an Israeli martial art.
That’s Krav Maga. “Gog Ma’ Gog” is a vague and mispronounced instruction regarding one’s penis.
In the Hebrew Bible, particularly in the Book of Ezekiel (chapters 38–39), Gog is a leader (possibly a king?), and Magog is the land or people he rules. They are described as a hostile force that will attack Israel in the “last days,” only to be decisively defeated by God. In the New Testament (Book of Revelation 20:7–9), the names reappear symbolically. Here, “Gog and Magog” represent the nations of the world gathered for a final rebellion against God after a period of peace. They are again defeated in a climactic, apocalyptic battle.
Space king has more credible lore than this
Woah woah… Slow down and throw a joke or two into that if you want me to absorb it.

Alright, alright, let me put the tinfoil on low heat for a second.

Old Testament: Gog is the boss, Magog is his turf and crew. They roll up for a big end-times fight… and get absolutely smote. End of story.

New Testament? Same names, but now it’s basically everyone and their cousin joining the rebellion. Bigger crowd, same outcome, still gets shut down.

So yeah… same names, bigger scale.

It’s like a sequel where the budget goes up, but the villain still loses in the last five minutes.

And let’s be honest, if your battle plan keeps ending in divine smiting, maybe… workshop the strategy.

That’s pretty danged good. Now do it as a limerick.
Can’t say I’ve ever been good with limericks lol. I tend to be overly descriptive.
There once was a leader named Gog
Who ruled in the land of Magog
His forces were smote
Then again it was wrote
Dubya is as dumb as a log
There once was a bloke called Gog,
Who thought he could be “top dog”.
He fought with Israel,
Where soon he did fail,
Then he buggered off back to Magog.

I gave it a shot, but not sure how it came out. How about this:

There once was a leader named Gog

Whose land, Magog, was part of the slog

They attacked in the end

Got smote ‘round the bend

And the sequel went global, same log

Not bad at all. Way to give it the ol’ college try.
Well, it’s not as far fetched as believing that a grifter found some golden tablets in the woods and a magic hat translated the markings for him.

Ya know, people believe strange things all of the time, but the thing that has always perplexed me about LDS is that Joseph Smith had a posse destroy the local newspaper’s press and died after shooting four people and falling out a window, but his religion lives on.

All that said, I dont like to pick on mormons. The mormons ive encountered have been very positive people that were raised with manners and a strong moral compass. They also have been very family focused.

I’m sure those traits are not 100% universal and The Secret Live of Moron Wives definitely tells a different tale, but in my personal experience having lived in Salt Lake City and a heavily Mormon town in Wyoming,

Mormon folk are generally good people, and I credit their religion for a lot of it. Their mission work is pretty danged cool and “Christian” and they’re preppers by religious mandate.

The Judeo-Christian God is self-absorbed, vindictive, violent, unpredictable, callous and often wrong. Joseph Smith well serves as a prophet in his image.
Really makes you wonder what would have happened if Revelation was just never accepted as cannon

I also grew up Roman Catholic, but Catholic Bibles are really a thing. The reason Catholics don’t read the Bible is probably to do with timing. In the Second Vatican Council, one of the changes they made was this:

Dei verbum, the Dogmatic Constitution on Divine Revelation emphasized the study of scripture as “the soul of theology”.

But see, the final release of Dei verbum was released in 1965. Everybody was used to not reading the Bible, so they only started teaching children a more Bible-oriented education after that, and it was sort of slow to roll out. But you see, those children were reaching adulthood in the late 80s and 90s, when people stopped going to church as much, and not too long after that, all of the sex abuse scandals really became a hot issue.

Twenty years isn’t really enough time to change generational norms. I would expect something like this to change over 2 or 3 generations, so 40 to 60 years, but the decline in attendance and in people seeking the priesthood has sort of reduced the Vatican’s control over specifics like this. And I think that’s why we still don’t see Catholics reading the bible.

Second Vatican Council - Wikipedia

I have a catholic bible – st joseph edition. It’s same bible as the protestants but a few extra books thrown in at the end.

Dude, Catholicism has been around since the days of St. Peter (if you believe the church’s timeline). Catholics dont read the bible because for like 1,940 years of the church’s existence, most people couldnt read. Generation after generation after generation was taught that reading the bible isnt necessary. The lutherans only had like 400 years of illiteracy to contend with, and I think they probably still read the bible less than the new-age 19-tickety revival spurred Community/Nondenominational Christians.

Maybe we’re saying the same thing in different words with different examples.

Religion for Breakfast has a nice video on what Gog and Magog is: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh11CuVUZPY . They’re basically a group originally mentioned in Ezekiel that we don’t have alot of idea who they originally were, but they’ve been this recurring boogeyman through Judaism and Christianity as both groups keep trying to apply the name to whoever they think might be the biggest threat to Israel.
What Are Gog and Magog?

YouTube