PugJesus"George, what the fuck are you talking about"
https://piefed.social/c/historymemes/p/1917579/george-what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about
FudgyMcTubbsRoman Catholic here, born and raised, church every Sunday and catechism. As Roman Catholics, we don’t fuck around with reading the Bible. We daze off during the two readings and the Gospel, and we rely on the priest’s homily to sum it all up succinctly and with a couple of jokes sprinkled in.
18 years of going to church growing up and I don’t know what a Gog Magog is.
RustyShacklefordIn the Hebrew Bible, particularly in the Book of Ezekiel (chapters 38–39), Gog is a leader (possibly a king?), and Magog is the land or people he rules. They are described as a hostile force that will attack Israel in the “last days,” only to be decisively defeated by God.
In the New Testament (Book of Revelation 20:7–9), the names reappear symbolically. Here, “Gog and Magog” represent the nations of the world gathered for a final rebellion against God after a period of peace. They are again defeated in a climactic, apocalyptic battle.
Woah woah… Slow down and throw a joke or two into that if you want me to absorb it.
Alright, alright, let me put the tinfoil on low heat for a second.
Old Testament: Gog is the boss, Magog is his turf and crew. They roll up for a big end-times fight… and get absolutely smote. End of story.
New Testament? Same names, but now it’s basically everyone and their cousin joining the rebellion. Bigger crowd, same outcome, still gets shut down.
So yeah… same names, bigger scale.
It’s like a sequel where the budget goes up, but the villain still loses in the last five minutes.
And let’s be honest, if your battle plan keeps ending in divine smiting, maybe… workshop the strategy.
That’s pretty danged good. Now do it as a limerick.
Can’t say I’ve ever been good with limericks lol. I tend to be overly descriptive.
edgemaster72There once was a leader named Gog
Who ruled in the land of Magog
His forces were smote
Then again it was wrote
Dubya is as dumb as a log
Who ruled in the land of Magog
His forces were smote
Then again it was wrote
Dubya is as dumb as a log
fakeman_pretendnameThere once was a bloke called Gog,
Who thought he could be “top dog”.
He fought with Israel,
Where soon he did fail,
Then he buggered off back to Magog.
Who thought he could be “top dog”.
He fought with Israel,
Where soon he did fail,
Then he buggered off back to Magog.
Nicely done.
I gave it a shot, but not sure how it came out. How about this:
There once was a leader named Gog
Whose land, Magog, was part of the slog
They attacked in the end
Got smote ‘round the bend
And the sequel went global, same log
Not bad at all. Way to give it the ol’ college try.
Well, it’s not as far fetched as believing that a grifter found some golden tablets in the woods and a magic hat translated the markings for him.
Ya know, people believe strange things all of the time, but the thing that has always perplexed me about LDS is that Joseph Smith had a posse destroy the local newspaper’s press and died after shooting four people and falling out a window, but his religion lives on.
All that said, I dont like to pick on mormons. The mormons ive encountered have been very positive people that were raised with manners and a strong moral compass. They also have been very family focused.
I’m sure those traits are not 100% universal and The Secret Live of Moron Wives definitely tells a different tale, but in my personal experience having lived in Salt Lake City and a heavily Mormon town in Wyoming,
Mormon folk are generally good people, and I credit their religion for a lot of it. Their mission work is pretty danged cool and “Christian” and they’re preppers by religious mandate.