Faith, Purple haired feminist 🧋   5d ago

Things I've learned about myself in the last 4 years of transition:

1. I'm a girl. You'd think this would be something I'd have known before I started transitioning but it wasn't. I thought I wanted to be but that I am took a lot longer.

2. My favorite color is purple. 💜 I used to say by favorite colors were blue and black but that's mostly because I was afraid to embrace a "girly color".

3. I'm a fashion girl. Not only do I love buying and wearing pretty things but what I'm wearing has a big effect on how I feel about myself, how I feel in my body, and my confidence.

4. I love being a software engineer. I still check in on myself with this one pretty regularly because a lot of trans girls find out they actually hate it and bolt as soon as they can. But not me. I still love it.

5. I'm outgping. I'm still somewhat socially awkward thanks to autism and a lack of practice but I'm not actually that introverted. I love being around people and I love meeting and getting to know new people, as long as they're not assholes.

6. I'm actually a pretty cool person and people like me. I used to think my brains were the only thing people liked me for. Get good grades, get a good degree, get a good job, be impressive and then people will like you. But now? People just like me and think I'm cool without knowing anything about my grades or my work.

7. I love food and travel. I did some before but I never really embraced it. Now I love to cook and I actively look forward to every trip and every time I get to see a new city, hear a new language, and experience another culture.

8. I'm sappy as hell. 😂 Sci-fi and fantasy don't do much for me anymore. Give me a sappy romance or a good drama and I'll bawl my eyes out. I love a good coming of age story, too. Trauma and well-presented dysfunction are welcome as well. Anything which hits me in the feels. It doesn't even have to be good as long as it isn't terrible.

I could probably go on. This is just what came to mind today. If you showed me that list 10 years ago, I would have laughed at you.

Especially 3. I wore basically the same thing every day from middle school up until about 3 years ago. Now I'm worried I have a shopping addiction. 😂

Show threadJ. R. DePriest    :EA DATA. SF:

@faithisleaping in addition to your cool hair, I'm really jealous of your PhD in math. I wish I'd pursued that instead of engineering, then comp sci, then dropping out.

When I took Differential Equations, I felt like I was learning some Lesser Key of Solomon secrets of the Universe shit. But my undiagnosed ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and gender dysphoria made college hell for me and I couldn't keep up.

I'm glad you finally get to be who you always were. It's another type of magick, isn't it? Uncovering a hidden world that was always there, just buried and waiting to be discovered when you learn the right words "I am a girl" to open the way.

Mar 22 at 6:14pmWeb
Show threadFaith, Purple haired feminist 🧋   5d ago
@jrdepriest I mean... I did take a stop through mechanical engineering and then computer engineering before I ended up in math. And now I work as a software engineer. My path has been anything bit straightforward. 😂
Show threadMoriel 🏳️‍⚧️5d ago

@jrdepriest @faithisleaping

Oh this sounds so familiar!

As an undergrad i was being unsuccessfully treated for major depression that was really undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and also have to live with gender dysphoria that i couldn't do anything about because i lived with my parents. Took 6 1/2 years to get my BS, but i did it.

Then when i finally got into grad school, i lasted all of 1 1/2 semesters because of the meds for my bipolar disorder not working.

Last year i thought i was stable and happy enough to go back to school and i decided that what i really wanted was to study psychology instead of math. Did 2 semesters of undergrad classes as prep work for applying to grad school, and then this semester i dropped out because the Universe decided it was finally time to have all my old trauma come back up again, and also said to me
"oh by the way, you have DID or something LOL"

The Universe just hates the idea of me getting an advanced education.