Mastodawn

You know those river cruises they do in Europe? Last night while half-asleep in bed, I had a vision of a trash version of that on a junky old boat in the Sacramento River Delta. The tour would take guests along the canals. Sights would be old barges and rotting docks.

Stops would be at the rundown little towns sprinkled along the waterways there. Two hours to go ashore in Rio Vista and hang out at the local bar or get a hamburger, and then we're off to the next town.

Eric Brombaugh Mar 17

@MLE_online "Ghost town cruises" sounds like it'd be an interesting angle. I'd note that I've seen ads on the OTA TV subchannels for some outfit that's running cruises in US waters - along the Atlantic coast, up the Misississippi and Columbia rivers, etc. I get the sense that these are aimed at people who have no interest in getting a passport or traveling outside this country but still want to try cruising.

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@emeb up the Mississippi could be really fun, but not if it's tailored to the kind of people who like cruises

jamesb (MW1CGG)Mar 17

@MLE_online
That actually sounds like my sort of tour.

It's probably why I go to the Black Country so much, I have a thing for decaying industrial infrastructure.

Kenneth Finnegan Mar 17

@MLE_online There's a trolly museum in Rio Vista too. You should add that additional fair to the cruise.

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@kwf @fredy here's a road trip for you to take your van on

fredy cosmoline

@MLE_online @kwf amphibivan

a libi rose Mar 17

@MLE_online they do them up the Columbia in WA/OR which just cracks me up, every time I've seen one it's just looked miserable, and the stops are like... The Dalles. lol

Matthew Dockrey Mar 17

@rose_alibi @MLE_online I was on a canoe trip once on the lower Columbia, pacing the beach at 4 in the morning because I couldn't sleep, when one of those steamed by. A full size (fake) sternwheeler, completely lit up, not a soul to be seen on deck, sailing on into the darkness. One of the more striking visuals of my life!

a libi rose Mar 17

@attoparsec @MLE_online ooh, weird. ghost ship! they always look totally empty, and the weather is always totally miserable

curl | sudo bash Mar 17

@rose_alibi @MLE_online

" ... and this is the place where D.B. Cooper left money ... "

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@rose_alibi the dalles, lol

a libi rose Mar 17

@MLE_online 'come see our scenic data centers!'

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@rose_alibi a data center bus tour could actually be really fun if it was sarcastic but deadpan about it

a libi rose Mar 17

@MLE_online true. potentially incredible with the right host. and audience.

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@rose_alibi a friend of mine recently saw a play that transitioned into a bus tour of hollywood partway through the play. the actors and the audience all got up from the theater and climbed aboard an unsanctioned tour bus outside. the play somehow integrated this tour of how hollywood is a town founded on madness that drives people to madness. there were also actors playing other actors at various stops on the trip. I'm bummed I missed it

@MLE_online rural california dive bar cruise — I'm in!

should also come with PBR in cans on the boat.

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@isaiah no PBR. That's too cliche and attracts an annoying kind of crowd. You can have a tecate, a modelo, or a budweiser (regular, not light)

Stumpy The Mutt Mar 17

@MLE_online The so-called "Viking" tours are just a slow trip on a barge gussied up with endless buffets and a band. No long boat and no plundering. A sketchy trip up a busy waterway would be much more interesting.

@MLE_online I can't find the name of it but there was a company that was trying to launch a river cruise business in the delta. It was ridiculously expensive and I don't know if it ever launched before it folded.

I would enjoy a SF to Sac riverboat journey like they used to do.

Come On Giant Asteroid!Mar 17

What is the cost? I assume there are berths on the boat. Do you eat on board or on shore?

Where is the website?

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@VE2UWY the cost is as cheap as possible. you sleep in a sleeping bag and air mattress on the floor. you eat on the boat and on the shore. there is no website. you have to call a phone number to make a reservation

Come On Giant Asteroid!Mar 17

Those river cruises look 10000x more interesting than floating in circles in the Caribbean. Your new service sounds just as interesting as the Euro versions.

Publish a list of sailings!

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@VE2UWY you have to call the number to get the list of departures

Come On Giant Asteroid!Mar 17

Dammit.

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@VE2UWY i know you're old enough to know how to make phone calls. stop acting like a gen zer

Come On Giant Asteroid!Mar 17

I have a dial phone BUT I DON’T HAVE THE NUMBER!!!!

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@VE2UWY call the operator

Come On Giant Asteroid!Mar 17

#Ernestine had no listing.

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@VE2UWY this is a reference i dont understand

Come On Giant Asteroid!Mar 17

No ringie-dingies for you, then!

FeralRobots Mar 17

@MLE_online I would probably enjoy that; spouse, maybe not so much.

@MLE_online apparently it's a thing

https://www.sacrivercruise.com/

Sacramento River Cruise

Intimate Wine and Cheese Cruise on the Sacramento River

Sacramento River Cruise

Emily Velasco Mar 17

@VoiceofDuum except that that is trying to be fancy with wine tasting and it's just a 2-hour boat ride, not really a cruise

tom jennings Mar 17

That's a great idea. Its another world up there. Ummm a wee bit warm and humid right now maybe.

Ed Dreistadt Mar 17

@MLE_online I would so go on this cruise.

Muellers Kabinett Mar 17

@MLE_online sounds like a plan. I'd rather prefer one of those tours than these high-class river cruises I sometimes see on the Rhine or the Danubia

Brian Smith Mar 18

@MLE_online
Sounds like a UK canal trip in the 1970's