Mike Sheward

something i’ll never understand- if you are a journalist and you get to ask trump a question, why not just make some shit up to prove to the world how full of bullshit he is? he’ll make up an answer to whatever - show the world.

e.g.

“Mr President, regarding the war in Iran, the people of Lanora, specifically the Lanoran Guard Corps have offered to join your fight if you supply them with Stormlance rockets - what do you think of their offer and will you be supplying them?”

“Well, the Lanorans are famously brave, wonderful people, so yes I’m thinking about it. Stormlance rockets are tremendously powerful, perhaps the most powerful we’ve ever seen, so I’d like to get them some, we’ll see. Our stockpiles of Stormlance rockets are the biggest they’ve ever been since I ordered them to be built faster so we’ll see.”

Mar 14 at 8:26pmWeb
Show threadMike ShewardMar 15

“Mr President, with the Strait of Hormuz out of action for the foreseeable future and the knock impacts to the global oil supply that will surely cause, have you considered reaching out to the Gay of Hormuz?”

“We’re talking to them, yes, I know I’ve done a lot for them and they are big fans of mine, so yes I think they will do the oil for us.”

Show threadcR0w   🏴‍☠️Mar 15
@SecureOwl It's pronounced "The Gay of Homoz."
Show threadɹ uɐp Mar 15

@cR0w @SecureOwl

I heard he has oils 😅

Show threadcR0w   🏴‍☠️Mar 15
@dannotdaniel @SecureOwl The most fabulous of oils.
Show threadɹ uɐp Mar 15
@SecureOwl top shelf stuff here, OwlMike 🤣
Show threadPatrick Loftus 🖖Mar 15
@SecureOwl Mr. President I believe that the Gay of Hormuz prefers to use the term lubricant instead of oil. Any comments?
Show threadɹ uɐp Mar 15
@SecureOwl stormlance rockets lmao   
Show threadHenryk PlötzMar 15
@SecureOwl The problem here is of course that it would need a proper journalist, and these *already* have all been weeded out for asking gotcha questions like "Did you draw with a sharpie on that map?", "Did you know that Greenland is our ally?", "What is that hematoma on the back of your hand?", or "Did you know Epstein was trafficking underage girls when he offered you trafficked underage girls?" (Ok, that last one might just have been me.)
Show threadHenryk PlötzMar 15
@SecureOwl The press corps has now been carefully selected to only contain the sort of people who would ask questions like "Mr. President, as the greatest leader this country has ever known, don't you think sometimes you're too much for us?"