Miss Kitty 🌈🌈🌈#MissKittyRaw The tale of why #MissKitty bothers you about homelessness.
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I had been homeless a few times in my younger life. I was made homeless by my second ex-wife. I had been a millionaire and she had cut me off from all the funds. And still demanded I try and find a job. Despair.
I had several level one traumas going on, not the least of which was #homelessness. And you can call it #God, and I do, or you can call it I'm just fucking smart, and I am, but I'm not as smart as God, and this was the clearest thought I ever had. Still true.
And I was coming home one day after a particularly good day, but I had to rush to get my #beer and #weed so I could forget that I was still breathing. (I know that there's a lot of people there right now. #MissKitty is not.) And at the bottom of the off ramp to head up to the store, stood a man...
... in 38° and rain in what weren't really clothes anymore. And he was there every day. Who knows if he made it through that #winter. And I gave him $5. And he said #God bless you. I pulled away, and I started to sob. And I started to scream. Who the fuck am I? I was hopeless. He said God bless you.
And you can't hear me #screaming today either, but I have been. Thinking of him and all of the things that I have seen. All of the numbers I have calculated against #human #life. I have to stop the #rage otherwise I could hurt myself like with a heart attack or something. I am so furious.
And I got drunk for a year and a half because I was brand new in #transition also and I didn't know anything then, so many funny stories. So many painful ones. And one day in August of '23, I could look up the day, God said if you don't write that book you're going to lose all #self-respect.
I picked up all the #paraphernalia and walked it across the street to a bus stop garbage can and went back inside and sat down and wrote 80,000 words and published it in 48 days. Facts. The truth. Fucking brutal. And I delivered it like #Schwarzenegger with spikes on my hands. God made me unpublish.
I had done it wrong. I had torn flesh from bone and then powderized the bone. I left nobody alone. I said things that were right on the line. I know the #laws around #defamation. I was within my rights to say what I said, even #legally. But it was brutal nonetheless. Unacceptable.
Then I threw myself backwards across my bed and stared at the #ceiling and 30 seconds later I knew the rest of my life. #Booyah. I always hated reading the end of the story or seeing a movie that wanted to do the reveal & then be tricky up to the #re-ending. I don't mind this. I know my whole life.
We do fucking win. And we do end #homelessness. #MissKitty does not lose. After the #vision, I toured the country doing personal retreats and four meditation retreats with my #Guru, #Shri #Shivarudra #Balayogi. And not that I haven't rubbed hard on the guardrails and almost fallen off the road.
But I know what I'm working on. #Guru says that #projection can be part of #sadhana, spiritual practice with deep focus, along the way. So I am projecting into the world even though my final #mission is to withdraw from it completely, consciously. #Self-Realization.
The wrap is I know how It ends. I am a #Pollyanna. Nothing in the vision has changed that position. I'm going to #NewYorkCity for the #BattleOfNYC and we are going to end #homelessness in #America and be proud of ourselves for the first time ever. That is what is happening. Get in.