Cactuar JoeShe's got a lot of dignity, huh. #Monsterdon
"It's GHASTLY!"
Actually I think it's Gengar. #Monsterdon
Herc needs the Flyswatter of Hephaestus #Monsterdon
That blank look. Yeah, me too lady. #Monsterdon
Minos just hangin' out in his own tomb. #Monsterdon
Everything in this movie is so anti-climactic. What should be serious twists just kinda land on-screen with a dull *thwap,* like a hunk of mud hitting plywood. #Monsterdon
Huh, potion of Xanadu. #Monsterdon
What does this have to do with ANYTHING? #Monsterdon
"There's something strange about this temple..."
You mean the visible chain link in the corner over there? #Monsterdon
*god* that was an awful entrance #Monsterdon
Oh no, Herc's one weakness! Nets! #Monsterdon
Tia Carrere? #Monsterdon
"I'm not dead! I'm getting better!" #Monsterdon
And our hero heroically strangles a woman #Monsterdon
I think the problem is they set up too many thunderbolts. They have to have a fight for each one, but they've got no time to develop any of them. They all fall flat. #Monsterdon
Jesus Daedelus, holster that thang. #Monsterdon
"Hercules cannot stand against Minos!"
Hercules has only killed Minos once, what makes him think he can do it again? #Monsterdon
"Okay well we're just gonna go, then." #Monsterdon
"Where does this lead?"
Where does what lead? Are we in this shot? I couldn't tell. #Monsterdon
okay sure that's great but none of this MEANS anything because the plot was conceived by a dipshit. #Monsterdon
Oh no, not Grouper! #Monsterdon
"We scientifically altered the course of her destiny."
Oh shut the fuck up. #Monsterdon
Father Time is the opening of The Venture Brothers. #Monsterdon
That Athena, always handing out shields. #Monsterdon
This movie is like a fundamentalist Christian, treating science like it's evil magic. #Monsterdon
"Watch THIS!"
♫Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air~♪ #Monsterdon
Are these characters even on the same soundstage? #Monsterdon
Lamest Tron ever. #Monsterdon
HERC NOT MUNKEY #Monsterdon
Gotta admit, I'm actually kind of impressed they were able to make a film *less* comprehensible than the original film. I have no idea what's happening right now. #Monsterdon
Look, just fuck off into the sea of stars. #Monsterdon
Fuck off movie, you have earned *none* of the emotional payoff you are trying for here. #Monsterdon
She died as she lived, a transparent plot device. #Monsterdon
Huh??? What is all this shit? #Monsterdon
This whole movie is just the gods handing Herc successively bigger and more broken superpowers. #Monsterdon
sAvE mAnKiiiiiiiiiiNd #Monsterdon
Yeah yeah, that's Herc, once again caught betweeen two giganti-
Urania patron of your -- FUCK OFF WAKKO I'M SAYING IT --
Well. That made no fucking sense. #Monsterdon
Okay, well. I guess that ended. So before you leave, you know what time it is:
Was THE ADVENTURES OF HERCULES (1985) the WORST #Monsterdon movie of the year?
God yes, that made NO fucking sense
It wasn't that bad.
Poll ended at .
Bryan Howell@CactuarJoe Still better than Planet Earth.
@bryanhowell I stubbed my toe on a table leg last night and it was better than Planet Earth :p