Cactuar JoeLook, the first Ator movie had better cinematography than this film. Do you understand how tragic that is? #Monsterdon
Herc, suddenly oiled up. #Monsterdon
"They look so real..."
They're... They're people in caked makeup. C'mon. #Monsterdon
"Fight them!"
Oh, Herc's a tactical master all right. #Monsterdon
Again, Lou's physique actually seems to cause him more problems than it's worth. That pointing back gesture he made? Stiff as FUCK. He'd be more convincing as powerful if he were LESS buff. #Monsterdon
Whoops, statue is having trouble standing still :P #Monsterdon
What a terribly proportioned Medusa :/ #Monsterdon
I'm not sure which is hokier, the dialogue or those FOAM MUSHROOMS. #Monsterdon
...Soundtrack budget ran out. #Monsterdon
The laughter wasn't in the script, that's the mad giggling of the director. #Monsterdon
Ha ha, Herc scampering around the tree :P #Monsterdon
Again, Lou's just big, he's terrible at *portraying* physicality. #Monsterdon
"We'll use this magic sword to prove science! ...Uh, I guess!" #Monsterdon
I don't mean to nitpick but that looks like a LARGE person, not a tiny one. #Monsterdon
They're sending her out for that jelly stuff stuntmen put on when they light themselves on fire. #Monsterdon
"...And that's it. Am... Am I still on? Is the cauldron still transmitting? Hello? You can turn this thing off now. Where's the End Call button?" #Monsterdon
Underwater pac man, okay #Monsterdon
Hhhgh. Everything in this movie is The Something OF Something, where Some Guy did Some Thing. #Monsterdon
I've played MMOs with better plots than this. Hell, I've played MMOs with fewer FETCH QUESTS than this fucking movie. #Monsterdon
"Now fuck off out of our sea." #Monsterdon
"Glouchester! Gout-ier! Global warming? What the hell was her name?" #Monsterdon
"It's a shield!"
Thanks, Eagle Eye. #Monsterdon
She's got a lot of dignity, huh. #Monsterdon
"It's GHASTLY!"
Actually I think it's Gengar. #Monsterdon
Herc needs the Flyswatter of Hephaestus #Monsterdon
That blank look. Yeah, me too lady. #Monsterdon
Minos just hangin' out in his own tomb. #Monsterdon
Everything in this movie is so anti-climactic. What should be serious twists just kinda land on-screen with a dull *thwap,* like a hunk of mud hitting plywood. #Monsterdon
Huh, potion of Xanadu. #Monsterdon
What does this have to do with ANYTHING? #Monsterdon
"There's something strange about this temple..."
You mean the visible chain link in the corner over there? #Monsterdon
*god* that was an awful entrance #Monsterdon
Oh no, Herc's one weakness! Nets! #Monsterdon
Tia Carrere? #Monsterdon
"I'm not dead! I'm getting better!" #Monsterdon
And our hero heroically strangles a woman #Monsterdon
I think the problem is they set up too many thunderbolts. They have to have a fight for each one, but they've got no time to develop any of them. They all fall flat. #Monsterdon
Jesus Daedelus, holster that thang. #Monsterdon
"Hercules cannot stand against Minos!"
Hercules has only killed Minos once, what makes him think he can do it again? #Monsterdon
"Okay well we're just gonna go, then." #Monsterdon
"Where does this lead?"
Where does what lead? Are we in this shot? I couldn't tell. #Monsterdon
okay sure that's great but none of this MEANS anything because the plot was conceived by a dipshit. #Monsterdon
Oh no, not Grouper! #Monsterdon
"We scientifically altered the course of her destiny."
Oh shut the fuck up. #Monsterdon
Father Time is the opening of The Venture Brothers. #Monsterdon
That Athena, always handing out shields. #Monsterdon
This movie is like a fundamentalist Christian, treating science like it's evil magic. #Monsterdon
"Watch THIS!"
♫Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air~♪ #Monsterdon
Are these characters even on the same soundstage? #Monsterdon
Lamest Tron ever. #Monsterdon
HERC NOT MUNKEY #Monsterdon
Gotta admit, I'm actually kind of impressed they were able to make a film *less* comprehensible than the original film. I have no idea what's happening right now. #Monsterdon
Look, just fuck off into the sea of stars. #Monsterdon
Fuck off movie, you have earned *none* of the emotional payoff you are trying for here. #Monsterdon
She died as she lived, a transparent plot device. #Monsterdon
Huh??? What is all this shit? #Monsterdon
This whole movie is just the gods handing Herc successively bigger and more broken superpowers. #Monsterdon
sAvE mAnKiiiiiiiiiiNd #Monsterdon
Yeah yeah, that's Herc, once again caught betweeen two giganti-
Urania patron of your -- FUCK OFF WAKKO I'M SAYING IT --
Well. That made no fucking sense. #Monsterdon