what even is the real hercules myth, is he just like the avatar of human heroism and does whatever an avatar like that would do or is it more specific than that #monsterdon

extremely bold for a sequel to begin at the dawn of time again, just like the first movie did. sequel in the sense of "in an adjacent timeline" rather than the usual "in an adjacent time" #monsterdon

ok, 4 minutes of credit padding, i get it, low budget, but let's put the cap at like... 6 minutes. 10 minutes would be way over the line #monsterdon

none of these count for #monsterdonBingo this is not the movie yet and double counting is cheating #monsterdon

what the fuck did the credits song just end and they started it again that is such an awesome move #monsterdon

ok good premise, zeus has a finite number of thunderbolts and it is possible for them to be stolen rather than being a power he has. that means there will need to be thunderbolt props and that is going to rule #monsterdon

certified #bechdelPass in the first 12 minutes btw #monsterdon

"i'm sure the people who use cunning to survive will give me the right answer" this dialogue fucking owns 10/10 #monsterdon

why do they keep establishing hercules as kenlike and dickless i don't understand why that's so important to the story #monsterdon

so fucking annoying, you just get summoned back into reality from the aether and have to get in a fight with a giant mop #monsterdon

what the fuck why did that dog have a thunderbolt what was he even doing with it #monsterdon

i'm always meeting up with babes to learn the secrets of darkness #monsterdon

so here i was, minding my own business, keeping the planetary orbits aligned with my seven thunderbolts, when this gang of trifling broads stole them and gave them to a bunch of swamp dogs and revived the asteroid scientist i spawned a whole demigod to kill #monsterdon

usually it's just subtext but this movie is going out of its way to structure its entire plot around how women are not to be trusted #monsterdon

these fucking wipes are killing me this is amazing #monsterdon

got up and went to get a glass of water and played with my cat for a minute, and the plot is in exactly the same place i left it. neverending and aimless #monsterdon

where are they putting the thunderbolts once they get them anyway #monsterdon

obviously this guy has a thunderbolt, he basically makes it his whole personality #monsterdon

oh great now the thunderbolt is in the middle of the ocean halfway around the earth great going herc #monsterdon

being some algae doing some photosynthesis near the ocean's surface when suddenly your ass gets thunderbolted into being the de facto ruler of the seas #monsterdon

ok sure this guy is a um frost.. scientist.... who will cast all the gods into... frost... because they are holding back... frost science #monsterdon

since when is reaching the little people hard they seem to just be right over there in the place you always go looking for them #monsterdon

side plot: urania joins a brain uploading cult #monsterdon

what happened in the cultural imagination of the 70's and 80's that made nets seem so goddamn powerful #monsterdon

we are getting waylaid by a tribe of occult spider worshipping amazons!?!?!?! #monsterdon

oh all it took was summoning the powers of light, no problem #monsterdon

gender criticism: you see hercules is kenlike and dickless while daedalus has a giant fuckin shnoz cup. this represents the struggle between science and religion #monsterdon