jonny#rootpost for #monsterdon (the adventures of hercules)
jonny (good kind)i missed the vote this week, what the fuck have you all done... again
what even is the real hercules myth, is he just like the avatar of human heroism and does whatever an avatar like that would do or is it more specific than that #monsterdon
raptop (𒀯 𒄷 𒄈𒀭𒁇)@jonny Greek silliness. One of Zeuses children does various heroic (and sometimes villainous) things.
Also he ends up as one of the argonauts, though I want to say has a minor role.
SnoopJ@jonny he's a demigod in the mythic tellings I'm familiar with (which isn't saying much, I'm not well-read of it) so I don't think humanity gets to claim him
but yea he's a strong guy pretty much
@jonny world's best shit-hauler: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labours_of_Hercules#Fifth:_Augean_stables
Rob Ricci@jonny he does VERY SPECIFIC things like CLEANING HORSE POO and SEPARATING EUROPE FROM AFRICA!
@jonny We got to see the King of Africa last week and THANK GOD they did not have him on screen for long enough to say some TERRIBLY RACIST lines
@ricci Basically all i want is another log throw https://neuromatch.social/@jonny/116157577569645871
@jonny I think this time their budget was too small for space
extremely bold for a sequel to begin at the dawn of time again, just like the first movie did. sequel in the sense of "in an adjacent timeline" rather than the usual "in an adjacent time" #monsterdon
@jonny That's because this movie starts with the highlight reel from the last movie
ok, 4 minutes of credit padding, i get it, low budget, but let's put the cap at like... 6 minutes. 10 minutes would be way over the line #monsterdon
none of these count for #monsterdonBingo this is not the movie yet and double counting is cheating #monsterdon
what the fuck did the credits song just end and they started it again that is such an awesome move #monsterdon
ok good premise, zeus has a finite number of thunderbolts and it is possible for them to be stolen rather than being a power he has. that means there will need to be thunderbolt props and that is going to rule #monsterdon
certified #bechdelPass in the first 12 minutes btw #monsterdon
"i'm sure the people who use cunning to survive will give me the right answer" this dialogue fucking owns 10/10 #monsterdon
why do they keep establishing hercules as kenlike and dickless i don't understand why that's so important to the story #monsterdon
Asta [AMP]@jonny "we need you to understand this is definitely not gonna be a 'Zeus' situation, okay?"
so fucking annoying, you just get summoned back into reality from the aether and have to get in a fight with a giant mop #monsterdon
what the fuck why did that dog have a thunderbolt what was he even doing with it #monsterdon
i'm always meeting up with babes to learn the secrets of darkness #monsterdon
so here i was, minding my own business, keeping the planetary orbits aligned with my seven thunderbolts, when this gang of trifling broads stole them and gave them to a bunch of swamp dogs and revived the asteroid scientist i spawned a whole demigod to kill #monsterdon
usually it's just subtext but this movie is going out of its way to structure its entire plot around how women are not to be trusted #monsterdon
stop 🛑giving🙅divine👼artifacts💸to🤌sentient🧠trash🗑️piles👿
these fucking wipes are killing me this is amazing #monsterdon
got up and went to get a glass of water and played with my cat for a minute, and the plot is in exactly the same place i left it. neverending and aimless #monsterdon
where are they putting the thunderbolts once they get them anyway #monsterdon
@jonny Hammer space, I guess
rj@jonny Thunderbolts go in the Thunderbolt Dock
obviously this guy has a thunderbolt, he basically makes it his whole personality #monsterdon
oh great now the thunderbolt is in the middle of the ocean halfway around the earth great going herc #monsterdon
Laurel Stvan@jonny Well, that’s something, anyway #Monsterdon