At the weekend, I sat my wife and kids down and confessed to my crippling gambling addiction. I've never gambled in my life, but it's a explains where all our money has went a little better than my regular escort and powder binges.
@fesshole oh god why are men
@fesshole this sucks, dog. i hope this is made up, god you suck either way
@fesshole This sounds fake enough to be real... oh God...

@fesshole it's tough but well done on telling them the tr-

oh

@fesshole You are one of the reasons women choose the bear.