For those of you not terminally online, I bring you news of an escalating hamburger CEO war, which started with the CEO of McDonald's doing a video that went viral of him eating their new burger, which he called 'product', took a tiny nibble of and appeared not to enjoy it. The the King (Burger King) got involved and did a similar video where the CEO took a hearty bite out of one of their Whoppers. I regret to inform you that (sir this is a) Wendy's CEO has now got involved and done a video of him demolishing a burger then dipping fries in milkshake and consuming with gusto. What is next? John Eckbert, the CEO of 5 guys Meg Ryan When Harry Met Sally orgasming over their premium burger? The KFC Colonel doing a Man Vs Food with whatever it is they sell in those buckets? Calm down, CEOs. We know you eat alfalfa and sleep in bacta tanks - stop trying to human.

@TheBreadmonkey Next, I'd like to see Barry, the bloke who runs the burger van in a layby actively fucking one of his burgers, wincing with delicious agony as the hot grease scalds his glistening phallus.

Or something.

@DJDarren @TheBreadmonkey it’s almost impressive that we got here without making a stop over to the Arby’s CEO pretending to fellate one of their roast beef sandwiches.
@c0dec0dec0de @TheBreadmonkey He's lubricating his anus as I type.

@DJDarren @c0dec0dec0de @TheBreadmonkey

I feel like we have very different ideas of what "fellating" means

@gbargoud @c0dec0dec0de @TheBreadmonkey If you haven't fellated with your anus, you haven't fellated at all.