RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115819642062897116

#MovieThread VII: The Kino Awakens, Chapter Two — February Edition

From 2020 to 2025 I watched 2370 movies.
In January 2026 I watched another 35, for a total of 2405 movies.

This month:
* Wrapping up Fincher.
* More 1957.
* Barbra Streisand, probably.

 Previous thread:

Of the Missouri Emptymans? It's —

#36, or #2406, 2020's "The Empty Man."

My brother who doesn't like horror movies wants to see the YouTubesman's horror movie, so once again heading out into the cold to go see —

#37, or #2407, 2026's "Iron Lung."

What if I wrapped up David Fincher today, it's —

#38, or #2408, 2011's "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."

Not in the mood to Mank, so let's instead check in with the man who so killed James Bond's sense of whimsy that Daniel Craig wasn't allowed to so much as smile in public for fifteen years, it's —

#39, or #2409, 1997's "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery."

The movie that dares to ask, what if somebody wrote 1941's "Citizen Kane" and that somebody's name was —

#40, or #2410, 2020 David Fincher picture "Mank."

Does this schtick work for a /second/ 90 minute film? Let's find out with —

#41, or #2411, 1999's "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/116025006197356845

I always count these, don't I.

#42, or #2412, the 2026 Winter Olympics opening ceremony legally known as "Cerimonia di apertura dei Giochi Olimpici Invernali Milano Cortina 2026."

Leaving now to go see a movie we were gonna see earlier this week, but then I got frozen in and couldn't leave my house, so I guess it was me who had —

#43, or #2413, 2026 Park Chan-wook picture "No Other Choice."

This 1957 Best Picture nominee in which Marlon Brando learns the Japanese are people and experience racism sometimes is either a complete fucking disaster or, like, kinda progressive for its age and a little pointless today, no middle ground, either way it's two and a half hours long, it's —

#44, or #2414, 1957's "Sayonara."

My brother hasn't seen this, which is a thing that must of course be fixed, leaving now to go see a 45th anniversary screening of —

#45, or #2415, 1980's "The Shining."

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115277978137634810

Finally finished watching, and so can now count in the thread —

#46, or #2416, 1915-1916 silent French film serial "Les Vampires."

Not seen so much as a trailer for this, but I dunno, I'll go see a zombie comedy (zombedy), leaving now to go see —

#47, or #2417, 2026's "Cold Storage."

This is the one of these I've never seen, it's —

#48, or #2418, 2002's "Austin Powers in Goldmember."

Ping pong movie let's go, leaving now to go see —

#49, or #2419, 2026's "Marty Supreme."

(Fully forgot to hit send. Pretend I tooted this 3 and a half hours ago.)

Know nothing about this 1990 Lawrence Kasdan picture my dedication to podcast completionism is making me watch, it's —

#50, or #2420, 1990's "I Love You to Death."

In a genuine Valentine's Day coincidence, my dedication to Blank Check completionism is forcing me to watch a movie with the word "love" in the title that I would otherwise never have put on, it's —

#51, or #2421, 2008's "The Love Guru."

It's another Best Picture nominee that seems like one of those that had a good point at the time but we wooshed past that point half a century ago, it's —

#52, or #2422, 1957's "Peyton Place."

With and after dinner, watched —

#53, or #2423, 2026 doc “Disneyland Handcrafted.”

Truly just wall-to-wall violations of even the most loosey-goosey of basic modern health and safety standards.

I've definitely seen at least one other adaptation of this that I fully do not remember, leaving now to go see —

#54, or #2424, 2026's ""Wuthering Heights"."

David has told me to watch this 1972 TV movie that dares to ask, "what if a Black man was President of the United States, wouldn't that be something," it's —

#55, or #2425, 1972's "The Man."

 🔗 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXdA0z5BUig

The Man (1972) | James Earl Jones is the First Black President | #JamesEarlJonesRIP

YouTube

It's the 1957 Best Picture nominee that dared to ask, what if there was a —

#56, or #2426, "Witness for the Prosecution."

The first of the 1958 Best Picture nominees, I know nothing about this one, it's —

#57, or #2427, 1958's "Gigi."

One of those "well if you can see it on the big screen, ya gotta" movies, leaving now to go see a 30th anniversary screening of —

#58, or #2428, 1996 Baz Luhrmann picture "Romeo + Juliet."

In this one Glen Powell kills the rich for fun and profit, leaving now to go see —

#59, or #2429, 2026's "How to Make a Killing."

Alex Daily not going to improv comedy class tonight, on account of it being a vacation week, and so Alex Daily can instead go to the Mystery Classic. (Like Sneak Preview but the movie is old.)

The hints are "The day after carnival," and "Iron ....," and we like @kurt 's suggestion of it being "The Hangover," but only one way to find out, leaving now.

#60, or #2430.

It's the third of four movies that have ask, what if a star was born, it's —

#61, or #2431, 1976's "A Star is Born."

Obviously accomodating my brother's schedule isn't an issue at all, but I do sometimes miss seeing movies at like 10:15am on a weekday.

But he doesn't care about these, so leaving now to go catch the 10:15am screening of —

#62, or #2432, 2026's "Scream 7."

I'm... pretty sure?, this is Jewish Mulan, it's —

#63, or #2433, 1983 Barbra Streisand picture "Yentl."

Remember how bad "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" was, well, what if there was a moderately better movie about Wolverine that was also a little weird about Japan, it's —

#64, or #2434, 2013's "The Wolverine."

More movie titles should have exclamation marks in them to signal that they're Exciting!, leaving now for a screening of —

#65, or #2435, 2001's "Moulin Rouge!"

It's the movie that dares to ask, what if there was a prince of tides, it's —

#66, or #2436, 1991 Barbra Streisand picture "The Prince of Tides."

If you’ve known me long enough, you’ll know I’m obsessed with malls. Not “shrine in my basement”-obsessed, just “sometimes I’ll watch a movie specifically because it’s set in a mall”-obsessed.

You can probably extrapolate from that that I’ve obviously also been thinking about the secret mall apartment since the moment I first heard the story.

With and after dinner, I watched —

#67, or #2437, 2024 documentary “Secret Mall Apartment.”

The new Pixar is called "Hoppers" in America but "Jumpers" here, and so obviously I haven't been calling it "Joppers" but the other thing, leaving now to go see —

#68, or #2438, 2026's "Jumpers."

Let's wrap up Barbra Streisand's career as a director, I don't know anything about this one, either, it's —

#69, or #2439, 1996's "The Mirror Has Two Faces."

Say what you want about the actual flicks themselves, "The Prince of Tides" and "The Mirror Has Two Faces" are great 90s movie titles.

Jeff Bridges is a maths professor who knows he can't handle another passionate love affair because the last one derailed him writing his book by 14 years.

Babs plays a professor of Romantic Literature who still lives with her mom, mostly watches baseball, and only goes on dates with nebbish little accountants she doesn't want to see a second time.

Presumably, they'll make it work.

A phone sex performer has given Bridges the tip to take out an ad to help him find what he's looking for:

"Columbia University professor (male) seeks woman interested in common goals and companionship. Must have a Ph.D. and be over thirty-five."

and then, in bold, underlined:

"Physical appearance NOT import!"

you see, the man is sick to death of constantly having sex with extremely hot women

Babs' sister Claire is getting married to Babs' former crush Pierce Brosnan. I'm sure Babs having a crush on him won't come up as we go.

In the middle of a test, Bridges is sorting applicants into piles of "rejects," "too pretty," and "possibilities."

He takes one look at an admittedly unflattering picture of Barbra Streisand and goes "hmm." Finally, he thinks, noted unattractive person Barbra Streisand.

(The sister sent it in, of course.)

This is a good lecture about romantic archetypes in literature. I believe her more as this college professor than I bought her as a rock musician.
Everything is going perfectly — he calls her, she accidentally turns on everything that makes noise in her room, she tries to spy on his lecture to get a sense of who he is, he immediately catches her, she gets in the cab to go to the date, both windows are busted and fuck up her nice hair.
Bridges is pleased to discover that not only is Barbra Streisand a hideous freak of nature, she's also quite pleasant to talk to.
The Jeff Bridges character, you understand, is objectively abominable.
He's explaining that he wants something unromantic, platonic, sexless, while she's looking at him like he's explaining he wants to put a horse in a car and ship it express to Narnia.

"Humour in calculus?"

inconceivable

They're honestly pretty good together. They want completely different things, but they make great friends.
I can't tell if Brosnan is meant to be doing an accent or not, which means he's probably trying and failing.
This is the opposite of a "being poly would fix this entire situation" romcom, they should objectively just only be friends.
They're getting married after having kissed exactly once.
As a retired asexual person, I would of course be 100% supportive of him wanting a completely sexless marriage if it wasn't explicitly robbing both of them of exactly what they want.
Bridges is frustrated to find himself increasingly attracted to his wife.
Finally, some sex.

"I don't want to do this."

I said nothing.

His whole issue is that he lets his life get completely run over by passion, and that's why he wants the sexless marriage, companionship without the problem. He wants 0% beer.

Unfortunately she /wants/ the passion, which he's scared to surrender to.

But for all his openness about what he wants, he's not talking at all about the why, they're not evaluating their options at all. Ergo, conflict.

They've separated over the sex issue, and at 90 minutes in, you could easily have them both have an aha moment and end the picture in another five to ten.

There's 35 minutes left.

(Presumably because the Pierce Brosnan thing still needs to go somewhere.)

He's on speaking tour in Europe while she's having the Babs version of a Rocky training montage.