RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115819642062897116

#MovieThread VII: The Kino Awakens, Chapter Two — February Edition

From 2020 to 2025 I watched 2370 movies.
In January 2026 I watched another 35, for a total of 2405 movies.

This month:
* Wrapping up Fincher.
* More 1957.
* Barbra Streisand, probably.

 Previous thread:

Of the Missouri Emptymans? It's —

#36, or #2406, 2020's "The Empty Man."

My brother who doesn't like horror movies wants to see the YouTubesman's horror movie, so once again heading out into the cold to go see —

#37, or #2407, 2026's "Iron Lung."

What if I wrapped up David Fincher today, it's —

#38, or #2408, 2011's "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."

Not in the mood to Mank, so let's instead check in with the man who so killed James Bond's sense of whimsy that Daniel Craig wasn't allowed to so much as smile in public for fifteen years, it's —

#39, or #2409, 1997's "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery."

The movie that dares to ask, what if somebody wrote 1941's "Citizen Kane" and that somebody's name was —

#40, or #2410, 2020 David Fincher picture "Mank."

Does this schtick work for a /second/ 90 minute film? Let's find out with —

#41, or #2411, 1999's "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/116025006197356845

I always count these, don't I.

#42, or #2412, the 2026 Winter Olympics opening ceremony legally known as "Cerimonia di apertura dei Giochi Olimpici Invernali Milano Cortina 2026."

Leaving now to go see a movie we were gonna see earlier this week, but then I got frozen in and couldn't leave my house, so I guess it was me who had —

#43, or #2413, 2026 Park Chan-wook picture "No Other Choice."

This 1957 Best Picture nominee in which Marlon Brando learns the Japanese are people and experience racism sometimes is either a complete fucking disaster or, like, kinda progressive for its age and a little pointless today, no middle ground, either way it's two and a half hours long, it's —

#44, or #2414, 1957's "Sayonara."

My brother hasn't seen this, which is a thing that must of course be fixed, leaving now to go see a 45th anniversary screening of —

#45, or #2415, 1980's "The Shining."

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115277978137634810

Finally finished watching, and so can now count in the thread —

#46, or #2416, 1915-1916 silent French film serial "Les Vampires."

Not seen so much as a trailer for this, but I dunno, I'll go see a zombie comedy (zombedy), leaving now to go see —

#47, or #2417, 2026's "Cold Storage."

This is the one of these I've never seen, it's —

#48, or #2418, 2002's "Austin Powers in Goldmember."

Ping pong movie let's go, leaving now to go see —

#49, or #2419, 2026's "Marty Supreme."

(Fully forgot to hit send. Pretend I tooted this 3 and a half hours ago.)

Know nothing about this 1990 Lawrence Kasdan picture my dedication to podcast completionism is making me watch, it's —

#50, or #2420, 1990's "I Love You to Death."

In a genuine Valentine's Day coincidence, my dedication to Blank Check completionism is forcing me to watch a movie with the word "love" in the title that I would otherwise never have put on, it's —

#51, or #2421, 2008's "The Love Guru."

It's another Best Picture nominee that seems like one of those that had a good point at the time but we wooshed past that point half a century ago, it's —

#52, or #2422, 1957's "Peyton Place."

With and after dinner, watched —

#53, or #2423, 2026 doc “Disneyland Handcrafted.”

Truly just wall-to-wall violations of even the most loosey-goosey of basic modern health and safety standards.

I've definitely seen at least one other adaptation of this that I fully do not remember, leaving now to go see —

#54, or #2424, 2026's ""Wuthering Heights"."

David has told me to watch this 1972 TV movie that dares to ask, "what if a Black man was President of the United States, wouldn't that be something," it's —

#55, or #2425, 1972's "The Man."

 🔗 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXdA0z5BUig

The Man (1972) | James Earl Jones is the First Black President | #JamesEarlJonesRIP

YouTube

It's the 1957 Best Picture nominee that dared to ask, what if there was a —

#56, or #2426, "Witness for the Prosecution."

"He wasn't really discharged [from the hospital], you know, he was expelled."

this guy rules

"If the barrister should fall off the bannister..."

that would be baddister

I would simply not have killed a childless widow who'd coincidentally named me as the sole beneficiary of her will.
He's a charmer, I can see how this guy gets accused of killing— Legs fully over the chair in front of him at the cinema, he's a murderman. One thousand years of jail.
alright, this Marlene Dietrich character is way too intense not to have done it
Love all this business with the monocle, all this business with the puttering nurse.

"Christine, why are you lying?! Why are you saying these things?!"

well you see she did it, right

Yeah, this is a fuckin' stitch-up, innit. The wife did it, the housekeeper wants the money. All we need now is a medium and we've got a fuckin' Rashomon.
hold on, is that a second hades-damned Marlene Dietrich
what the zebra in the duck pond is going on here
It now seems so obvious that the picture wants me to think it was the wife that I no longer trust that to be true.
Which means maybe he /is/ guilty.

"It's a little too neat, too tidy."

with 12 minutes left??

"That can't be true! No!"

oyzis

yeeeeesh

"Or better yet, let them try me for —"

well I'll be

Great, gripping courtroom picture. Movie rules.

Though I did eventually clock it before it got there, this had me fully bought into its pre-twist reality for an impressively long time.

The first of the 1958 Best Picture nominees, I know nothing about this one, it's —

#57, or #2427, 1958's "Gigi."

what if there was a Gigi, can you imagine

boy, Maurice Chevalier has got old since the last time I saw him in a Best Picture nominee.

...and there's no right age for him to be singing about how fond he is of little girls, movie, please

This is giving "we have My Fair Lady at home," and looking it up, does indeed mostly exist because "My Fair Lady" was doing well on Broadway.

I'm struggling to find a way to talk about this one. Many people seem to like this. And it's a catchy musical, and looks great, has fun bits. But it's also extremely about how cool it is to train a child to be a posh sex worker?

You have to assume the people who like it like it because of the catchy musical of it all.

The main guy was dating a lady who was also seeing some other schmuck, so he goes out to humiliate her other lover, and humiliate her by extension, and he's now... actively celebrating her suicide.

This fucking sucks.

There's something to be said for, well, it's a product of its time and set in another, earlier time, but the picture really can not stop reinforcing over and over how much Gigi is a /child/.

Catchiest musical you ever saw about how cool it is to groom a child.

Just awful.

One of those "well if you can see it on the big screen, ya gotta" movies, leaving now to go see a 30th anniversary screening of —

#58, or #2428, 1996 Baz Luhrmann picture "Romeo + Juliet."

You know, I know how "Romeo and Juliet" ends. It's 430 years old and so known in the culture that I don't remember ever /not/ knowing how it ends. Heck, I've seen /this version/ before.

And still, when she starts to stir just as he's about to take the poison, Baz fully has me going, "maybe, this time, she might wake in time."

Good fucking movie. Still one of the best to ever do it.

@Alexis truth!
@InternetEh As in total control of a 400-year old text as a modern filmmaker has ever been.
@Alexis Reminding me of when Lucy in Peanuts spoiled Citizen Kane.

In this one Glen Powell kills the rich for fun and profit, leaving now to go see —

#59, or #2429, 2026's "How to Make a Killing."

One of the most totally fine movies you ever saw.

You see the trailer for this thing, nothing in the actual flick will surprise you. Do you have a clear picture of what Margaret Qualley gets up to, or the ending? No. But you could get there. You could write this movie based on the trailer, and you might write something more surprising.

Just completely totally fine.

@Alexis Zero intention of watching that movie, but you might want to check out the older version? If only because it stars

"Alec Guinness as eight members of the D'Ascoyne family:

Ethelred, 8th Duke of Chalfont
The Reverend Lord Henry
General Lord Rufus
Admiral Lord Horatio
Lord Ascoyne, the banker
Young Ascoyne, the banker's son
Lady Agatha, the suffragette
Young Henry, the photographer"

@B Oop, yeah, I forgot to look into the original, hadn't seen that, that sounds a lot more interesting. *watchlists*

Alex Daily not going to improv comedy class tonight, on account of it being a vacation week, and so Alex Daily can instead go to the Mystery Classic. (Like Sneak Preview but the movie is old.)

The hints are "The day after carnival," and "Iron ....," and we like @kurt 's suggestion of it being "The Hangover," but only one way to find out, leaving now.

#60, or #2430.

RE: https://social.thiskurt.me/@kurt/116127684378730708

I return with news from the front (row of screen 4 of the cinema) — @kurt was right, the February Mystery Classic was 2009's "The Hangover."

Has aged almost exactly like I thought it would — The Way People Talked In Movies In 2009 is Big Yikes, there’s a few things you would really, really not do today, but the structure of the picture is rock solid, very watchable, and the jokes largely hold up.

A hoot with a full house that’s totally into it.

It's the third of four movies that have ask, what if a star was born, it's —

#61, or #2431, 1976's "A Star is Born."

I've seen the 1937 one, because Best Picture nominee, and the 2018 one, because Blank Check, which is also why I'm watching this one — they cover it as the start of their Barbra Streisand series, presumably because she had a lot of creative control over it.
I should watch the 1954 one at some point, obviously.
This retains from 1954 the choice to switch it from a movie star to a music one, again presumably because it's meant to be a vehicle for Babs.

You can really see where the Bradley Cooper version of the dirtbag singer character comes from: Here.

This one just put on a rubber mask of a mummified corpse, though, radical.

Babs' character instantly very charming. Very human, a singer you're gonna look at instead of treating them like background noise.
I would not take this dirtbag home.

Beep Boop Two is a dirtbag-free zone.

Did have a dirtbox over once, a package a neighbour took three days to come pick up.

This guy sucks.
The Bradley Cooper one at least has something to him.
If the 70s had health and safety standards every single music-on-stage professional depicted on screen so far would be in hyperprison.

If I was in this person's vicinity, I would do everything in my power to change that.

...But I think I might feel the same way about the 70s.

Why is she in love with him? Is she stupid?
Kind of like these bits of them faffing about around the house, but none of this _really_ works.
Everything seems nice, which means he's about to get A Star Is Born ending'd.
No movie spends this much time on a character drunk driving if they're not about to car themselves to death.
@Alexis Record-breaking burn from an Alex Daily movie thread. Bravo.
@Alexis Is that the one with Jennifer Lopez... ooh, wait 1958. Maybe she's ageless.
@kurt No, no, that's the one that would be atrociously bad for its dialogue and general everything about it even without Justin Bartha playing a caricature of a guy with Down's, this one's about how cool it is to train a 14-year old to be a posh sex worker.
@Alexis I must say it actually does sound more fun than what I've heard about *checks* gigli.

@kurt Honestly, it /is/ at least a catchy musical that's gorgeously shot, with great costumes and set design.

While, if I recall correctly, "Gigli"'s best set is a bare apartment.