RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115819642062897116
#MovieThread VII: The Kino Awakens, Chapter Two — February Edition
From 2020 to 2025 I watched 2370 movies.
In January 2026 I watched another 35, for a total of 2405 movies.
This month:
* Wrapping up Fincher.
* More 1957.
* Barbra Streisand, probably.
Previous thread:
Of the Missouri Emptymans? It's —
#36, or #2406, 2020's "The Empty Man."
My brother who doesn't like horror movies wants to see the YouTubesman's horror movie, so once again heading out into the cold to go see —
#37, or #2407, 2026's "Iron Lung."
What if I wrapped up David Fincher today, it's —
#38, or #2408, 2011's "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."
Not in the mood to Mank, so let's instead check in with the man who so killed James Bond's sense of whimsy that Daniel Craig wasn't allowed to so much as smile in public for fifteen years, it's —
#39, or #2409, 1997's "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery."
The movie that dares to ask, what if somebody wrote 1941's "Citizen Kane" and that somebody's name was —
#40, or #2410, 2020 David Fincher picture "Mank."
Does this schtick work for a /second/ 90 minute film? Let's find out with —
#41, or #2411, 1999's "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/116025006197356845
I always count these, don't I.
#42, or #2412, the 2026 Winter Olympics opening ceremony legally known as "Cerimonia di apertura dei Giochi Olimpici Invernali Milano Cortina 2026."
Leaving now to go see a movie we were gonna see earlier this week, but then I got frozen in and couldn't leave my house, so I guess it was me who had —
#43, or #2413, 2026 Park Chan-wook picture "No Other Choice."
This 1957 Best Picture nominee in which Marlon Brando learns the Japanese are people and experience racism sometimes is either a complete fucking disaster or, like, kinda progressive for its age and a little pointless today, no middle ground, either way it's two and a half hours long, it's —
#44, or #2414, 1957's "Sayonara."
My brother hasn't seen this, which is a thing that must of course be fixed, leaving now to go see a 45th anniversary screening of —
#45, or #2415, 1980's "The Shining."
RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115277978137634810
Finally finished watching, and so can now count in the thread —
#46, or #2416, 1915-1916 silent French film serial "Les Vampires."
Not seen so much as a trailer for this, but I dunno, I'll go see a zombie comedy (zombedy), leaving now to go see —
#47, or #2417, 2026's "Cold Storage."
This is the one of these I've never seen, it's —
#48, or #2418, 2002's "Austin Powers in Goldmember."
In which they're conceailing his face, because Tom Cruise is playing him, in what is presumably a movie-in-the-movie?
2002 was a weird time.
"In the 70s, there lived a Dutch metallurgical hedonist by the name of Johann van der Smut."
close, you're thinking of Germany, bad try
"Fook Mi."
no, that dumb name is racist, send it back
"There's only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other cultures... and the Dutch."
fair enough honestly
"Dr Evil's not your son! I am!"
"You both are!"
but they look nothing alike
This one sucks!
A real step down after the first two largely enjoyable "Powers" films. Though its worst sin is just that it can’t actually think of anything new to do with all of this, it’s also racist, homophobic, and occasionally cruel.
It’s not that there aren’t good gags here, but far too much of this is just awful. I dunno what it is, maybe this just doesn’t work post-9/11.
All of it falls apart when it’s mean.
From the box: "Wanna shag...?" Welcome to the Austin Powers CCG, a shagadelic, multi-player gaming experience. This cheeky little box contains two 30-card pre-constructed decks ready to play. Collect all 140 groovy cards from "The Spy Who Shagged Me" depicting your favorite characters, scenes and quotes from the movie. Choose cards from your collection to customize your own smashing decks and have a swinging good time with a bunch of your friends. Oh, Behave!
Ping pong movie let's go, leaving now to go see —
#49, or #2419, 2026's "Marty Supreme."
(Fully forgot to hit send. Pretend I tooted this 3 and a half hours ago.)
One of the most movies to ever movie. So much happens at you just constantly. Relentless.
The titular Marty is exactly the same way. Just 100% relentlessly always on. Always hustling, always lying, always in pursuit of something it barely makes sense to pursue.
It's exhilarating. Good fucking movie.
Also, was surprised to find myself seated in a genuinely full house for the Tim Chalamet ping pong movie — as the titles ran over graphics of Marty's semen making its way to an egg, I leant over to my brother to say "two hundred people seated for /this/."
Who said there were no more movie stars?
Know nothing about this 1990 Lawrence Kasdan picture my dedication to podcast completionism is making me watch, it's —
#50, or #2420, 1990's "I Love You to Death."
Having finally got him asleep, they've asked River Phoenix to shoot him.
He's done a shoot, but he's not sure if he shot him.
In a genuine Valentine's Day coincidence, my dedication to Blank Check completionism is forcing me to watch a movie with the word "love" in the title that I would otherwise never have put on, it's —
#51, or #2421, 2008's "The Love Guru."
Alright, so he's an American who was sent to live in India after his parents died when he was 12 and he's a guru because it seemed like a good way to get laid.
Also when he was a kid he had Mike Myers' full head on his child-size body? Surely that's a marketable enough trait to be profitable in 70s America.
One runner — rule of threes, hold my beer, says the rule of one thousands — is the use of the name Mariska Hargitay (of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit") as something that sounds like a Hindi greeting.
That's the exact level half these jokes are on — here's something that sounds Hindi but isn't. I really feel like we don't do those any more.
"What's wrong with shark-skin [fabric]?"
"Shark-skin, more like gay-skin."
somebody kill me and wait another 56 minutes to bring me back please
one of the most aggressively racist and otherwise repugnant modern mainstream comedies I’ve ever seen. genuinely repulsive.
you couldn't make this today because you'd run out of torches and pitchforks
Alex Daily! 
🇹 Ti