RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115819642062897116

#MovieThread VII: The Kino Awakens, Chapter Two — February Edition

From 2020 to 2025 I watched 2370 movies.
In January 2026 I watched another 35, for a total of 2405 movies.

This month:
* Wrapping up Fincher.
* More 1957.
* Barbra Streisand, probably.

 Previous thread:

Of the Missouri Emptymans? It's —

#36, or #2406, 2020's "The Empty Man."

My brother who doesn't like horror movies wants to see the YouTubesman's horror movie, so once again heading out into the cold to go see —

#37, or #2407, 2026's "Iron Lung."

What if I wrapped up David Fincher today, it's —

#38, or #2408, 2011's "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."

Not in the mood to Mank, so let's instead check in with the man who so killed James Bond's sense of whimsy that Daniel Craig wasn't allowed to so much as smile in public for fifteen years, it's —

#39, or #2409, 1997's "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery."

The movie that dares to ask, what if somebody wrote 1941's "Citizen Kane" and that somebody's name was —

#40, or #2410, 2020 David Fincher picture "Mank."

Does this schtick work for a /second/ 90 minute film? Let's find out with —

#41, or #2411, 1999's "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/116025006197356845

I always count these, don't I.

#42, or #2412, the 2026 Winter Olympics opening ceremony legally known as "Cerimonia di apertura dei Giochi Olimpici Invernali Milano Cortina 2026."

Leaving now to go see a movie we were gonna see earlier this week, but then I got frozen in and couldn't leave my house, so I guess it was me who had —

#43, or #2413, 2026 Park Chan-wook picture "No Other Choice."

This 1957 Best Picture nominee in which Marlon Brando learns the Japanese are people and experience racism sometimes is either a complete fucking disaster or, like, kinda progressive for its age and a little pointless today, no middle ground, either way it's two and a half hours long, it's —

#44, or #2414, 1957's "Sayonara."

My brother hasn't seen this, which is a thing that must of course be fixed, leaving now to go see a 45th anniversary screening of —

#45, or #2415, 1980's "The Shining."

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115277978137634810

Finally finished watching, and so can now count in the thread —

#46, or #2416, 1915-1916 silent French film serial "Les Vampires."

Not seen so much as a trailer for this, but I dunno, I'll go see a zombie comedy (zombedy), leaving now to go see —

#47, or #2417, 2026's "Cold Storage."

This is the one of these I've never seen, it's —

#48, or #2418, 2002's "Austin Powers in Goldmember."

Ping pong movie let's go, leaving now to go see —

#49, or #2419, 2026's "Marty Supreme."

(Fully forgot to hit send. Pretend I tooted this 3 and a half hours ago.)

Know nothing about this 1990 Lawrence Kasdan picture my dedication to podcast completionism is making me watch, it's —

#50, or #2420, 1990's "I Love You to Death."

In a genuine Valentine's Day coincidence, my dedication to Blank Check completionism is forcing me to watch a movie with the word "love" in the title that I would otherwise never have put on, it's —

#51, or #2421, 2008's "The Love Guru."

It's another Best Picture nominee that seems like one of those that had a good point at the time but we wooshed past that point half a century ago, it's —

#52, or #2422, 1957's "Peyton Place."

With and after dinner, watched —

#53, or #2423, 2026 doc “Disneyland Handcrafted.”

Truly just wall-to-wall violations of even the most loosey-goosey of basic modern health and safety standards.

I've definitely seen at least one other adaptation of this that I fully do not remember, leaving now to go see —

#54, or #2424, 2026's ""Wuthering Heights"."

David has told me to watch this 1972 TV movie that dares to ask, "what if a Black man was President of the United States, wouldn't that be something," it's —

#55, or #2425, 1972's "The Man."

 🔗 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXdA0z5BUig

The Man (1972) | James Earl Jones is the First Black President | #JamesEarlJonesRIP

YouTube

It's the 1957 Best Picture nominee that dared to ask, what if there was a —

#56, or #2426, "Witness for the Prosecution."

The first of the 1958 Best Picture nominees, I know nothing about this one, it's —

#57, or #2427, 1958's "Gigi."

One of those "well if you can see it on the big screen, ya gotta" movies, leaving now to go see a 30th anniversary screening of —

#58, or #2428, 1996 Baz Luhrmann picture "Romeo + Juliet."

In this one Glen Powell kills the rich for fun and profit, leaving now to go see —

#59, or #2429, 2026's "How to Make a Killing."

Alex Daily not going to improv comedy class tonight, on account of it being a vacation week, and so Alex Daily can instead go to the Mystery Classic. (Like Sneak Preview but the movie is old.)

The hints are "The day after carnival," and "Iron ....," and we like @kurt 's suggestion of it being "The Hangover," but only one way to find out, leaving now.

#60, or #2430.

It's the third of four movies that have ask, what if a star was born, it's —

#61, or #2431, 1976's "A Star is Born."

Obviously accomodating my brother's schedule isn't an issue at all, but I do sometimes miss seeing movies at like 10:15am on a weekday.

But he doesn't care about these, so leaving now to go catch the 10:15am screening of —

#62, or #2432, 2026's "Scream 7."

I'm... pretty sure?, this is Jewish Mulan, it's —

#63, or #2433, 1983 Barbra Streisand picture "Yentl."

Remember how bad "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" was, well, what if there was a moderately better movie about Wolverine that was also a little weird about Japan, it's —

#64, or #2434, 2013's "The Wolverine."

It comes up sometimes how goofy it was for WB/DC to do a second Suicide Squad movie only five years after the very bad first one, but there were only four years between "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and "The Wolverine."

Same title trick, even.

Anyway, I would simply not perform seppuku upon myself.

"X-Men: First Class" was a pretty clean reboot, it actively contradicts both the original trilogy and "Origins," outside of the one little scene of Jackman in the bar, there's nothing tying it to those movies.

But this is a Logan from after "The Last Stand," a Logan who still lives in the old continuity.

Logan is fighting a bunch of shitty hunters who killed his nice bear pal. This is really what Logan should be up to at the start of every movie he's in.

A bar, a cause, a fight.

Audio of Lynn Collins as Silverfox from "Origins" appears briefly in the context of a dream sequence, but the picture otherwise largely ignores the previous film.
You know how sometimes a character will be living uncomfortably in self-imposed exile, and then somebody will come and pull them out to draw them into a righteous cause that will allow them to be their best self, but then that will always turn to shit in the end, too, because comfort itself will always be uncomfortable, too? Great stuff.
Yashida, who Logan saved from a nuke in the cold open, is dying, and has hired only the sexiest supermodel lady doctors to look after him.
Yashida, having not had Logan's healing factor transferred to him, has stopped dying on account of having died.
I would simply not have my ass kicked at a funeral.
Love a two-level chase sequence.
train fight
"Logan checks into a love hotel" is pretty basic, but it's also always funny to see him uncomfortable in this specific way.

A thing I said about "Origins" is it felt like it was stitching itself together from movies like it without actually doing anything meaningfully different with even an inch of it.

This is really doing the same thing, but — and this is crucial — the picture fundamentally understands the ways in which putting Logan in this material changes it, alters it, and what situations are fun to see him in.

Very convenient that nobody shoots Logan in the head while he's sans healing factor.
I don't care about any of this Silver Samurai business.
Perpetually wondering why anyone who knows what his deal is ever tries to fight Logan. You really think /you're/ gonna be the person to take him down? It's like pissing on a mountain and expecting it to erode away to nothing.
Viper is waiting to get into the fight until she's done shedding her skin sexily, which you'd really think she'd do at a less time crucial moment.
Knowing they immediately restore his claws ten minutes later makes him losing them here so completely unserious.

I don't really remember how exactly "Days of Future Past" picks up Logan's story from here, but this mid-credits scene doesn't feel like it connects at all.

(How is Chuck alive? He's in his identical twin's body. You didn't get that from "The Last Stand"?)

Unlike 2009's "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," 2013’s "The Wolverine" understands what you want from a Wolverine movie and so is what you might call “basically a competent modern blockbuster.”

@Alexis I could be misremembering, and this happens a bit later, so uh spoilers I guess, but

doesn't he have bone claws at the end of the film? And then Days of Future Past completely forgets about that

@The_T Yeah, he just grew his bone claws back.
@Alexis it's always so weird to realize "oh, that's based on the same character that is Madame Hydra". Because the X-Men do interact with the rest of Marvel, sometimes.
@Alexis likewise, how does he remember Yashida, when that would have take place before Origins.
@The_T Oh, true. Silverfox is easier to justify than Yashida — lost memories leaving fragments of subconcious herfromorigins.mp3 behind I don't mind so much, but you're right, he probably shouldn't remember Yashida that cleanly.
@Alexis anyway, it's fine. It's not the most egregious of continuity errors in the whole series. They are very much stories first, continuity... not second, definitely not second.

@The_T Yeah, no, you just have to imagine there's an unseen moment where he hits his head just right to get some but not all of his memories back.

Even when these movies do care about continuity, which this one doesn't, continuity comes, I wanna say, tenth?

@Alexis the best continuity in the X-Men film universe has always been the unintended continuity anyway; when something works that no one ever even thought about. Like The GIfted fitting cleanly before Days of Future Past, to explain where the X-Men aren't.
@The_T now I'm wondering if I should watch all of The Gifted before Days of Future Past

@Alexis you could! It's not a bad show.

It's like 2 or 3 seasons though, isn't it, it is a bit long. And it's definitely not meaningfully connected.

@The_T I mean, my definition of "long" is "Star Trek."
@Alexis and yet you wouldn't watch all of Legion at once...
@The_T Really, I'm looking for another show to work to, but Legion is a paying attention show.
@Alexis This one was always an actual, rather simple, continuity error; he lost his memory at the end of Origins. How does he remember her.

More movie titles should have exclamation marks in them to signal that they're Exciting!, leaving now for a screening of —

#65, or #2435, 2001's "Moulin Rouge!"

baz, you maximalist lunatic king

None of this should work, none of this should add up to anything, so much of it is completely insane, but it opens with such an assault on the senses and after that is so completely all-in on being the thing it is, that— I've seen 2435 movies since I started counting, and it's just nice to find out that a movie from 2001 can still feel unlike anything else I've ever seen.

So glad I never saw this at home before I got a chance to see it on the big screen.

It's the movie that dares to ask, what if there was a prince of tides, it's —

#66, or #2436, 1991 Barbra Streisand picture "The Prince of Tides."

Oh, whoops, forgot to start a new thread. After this one.

"I grew up slowly besides the tides and marshes of a Carolina sea island."

*leo-points* he's the prince of the tides

AND the prince of the marshes

Nick Nolte is an unhappily married marsh man living in a beach house. His mom is here to tell him his sister tried to commit not her first suicide attempt and is in a coma, and that somebody has to go to New York to... go talk to the sister's therapist?

Is that the usual order of operations? That couldn't be a phone call?

He doesn't like New York, but he likes his wife less, so to New York he goes.
The therapist is, of course, played by Barbra Streisand.

"In Savannah's poems, are you the shrimper or the coach?"
"The coach."

nobody wants to be the shrimper

The therapist has called Nolte here to fill in details about the sister to figure out the why etc. of the attempt. Nolte's response to it is to hate therapists because that's what this type of guy (Republican) always does, sigh.
hey it's george carlin as the sister's gay roommate
Hm.
This, I wanna say, sucks?
It's mostly in two things:
* Nolte plays a cartoon Southern man whose entire personality is he don't cotton much to dem hoity-toity big city folks.
* The life of the sister exclusively exists as fodder for Nolte and the therapist to bond over, she's barely a person herself, she's the mentally ill problem they're trying to solve together.
He's footballcoaching therapistson, which is even less interesting than the other things that are happening.
yeesh
the picture so far has been way too light for This to be the core of what happened to them
Whole picture fully collapses under this reveal.
I'm now almost expecting the footballcoaching therapistson subplot to end in him accidentally breaking his neck or something.
Therapisthusband is a famous violinist, so he doesn't want Therapistson to football but for him to violin instead, which makes sense and is totally reasonable, because Therapistson is a genuine virtuoso at the ol' chin-fiddle.

"Herbert never liked it, it made him sneeze, this place."

herbert should look into immunotherapy

If you’ve known me long enough, you’ll know I’m obsessed with malls. Not “shrine in my basement”-obsessed, just “sometimes I’ll watch a movie specifically because it’s set in a mall”-obsessed.

You can probably extrapolate from that that I’ve obviously also been thinking about the secret mall apartment since the moment I first heard the story.

With and after dinner, I watched —

#67, or #2437, 2024 documentary “Secret Mall Apartment.”

In 2003, a Rhode Island artist and his friends found a hidden, forgotten space deep inside the busy local mall, created an apartment there, and lived there for the next four years.

The documentary covers the basic history of the secret mall apartment, and then approaches the story from a few different angles, all tied together by the central premise: The secret mall apartment is art. (It does a lot to tie it into the wider context of the main guy’s artistic practice.)

And it’s not just art, it’s an act of resistance. The secret mall apartment isn’t just a bunch of losers farting around the edges of a mall and doing something illegal, it’s a radical act directly against the capitalism that rejects them. It’s about making life — YOUR life — happen where the anti-human filling up of space by commerce doesn’t want it to.

And sure, that’s a lot of justification to talk away the fact that, well, it sure looks like it’s a bunch of losers farting around the edges of a mall.

But I think the secret mall apartment beautiful. I think the secret mall apartment kicks ass.

The final bit, with the keys? It's so lovely. The life is the art. The life is the art.